Not at all bored. Not even close. Not even once.
Still, last night at 2:00 am I woke up with the crushing fear that I had somehow not enjoyed my precious year long maternity leave enough. That I had squandered the only year I was going to get.
Had I spent enough time with Fenner and Marlowe exploring our worlds? Could I have done more to show them how important our communities are and how important it is to engage with the world around us? Did I represent my ideals and values in a way that might possibly get passed to them??
That says a lot about my insecurities. These fears crushed the air out of my chest and forced me to get up and peruse all of the pictures from the past year for a few hours until I felt better.
This year has been an epic adventure with both my girls. We learned how to be together quietly and together we learned how to start a wild rumpus. We explored our neighbourhood more fully. We built and contributed to our community in permanent and inspiring ways. We saw and experienced the wider world together. We went feral at the cottage and learned to be still together and by ourselves. We had fun making together.
I look back at this year as the year we drew the map that we chose to follow as a family.
|Game Changing Birth Day|
|Hiked Lake Superior Provincial Park|
|Awed at Old Woman Bay|
|Christmas at Home|
|Built a community|
|Learned that personal inspiration doesn't have to be a zero sum game with children|
|Saw the wider world with four year old eyes|
|Found the 'Wild' close to home|
|Went to the Farm|
|Fed the people in our neighbourhood many meals|
|Enjoyed new perspectives on a lifelong cottage|