Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Life is rich

Am speaking with my sister on the phone about the past month in the family's life.

We are a lucky people.

Life is good.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

What's a little more change..

So with the advent of changing virtually every day to day schedule and expected responsibility in the house. I've been trying to take all of the bad habits and wishes for good habits into account. The seemingly little habits I'm constitently trying to integrate to daily life: shopping for clothes (everyone's), planning weekly meals, flossing, bike commuting, running 3 times a week, reading more, cooking more etc. Aim high bitches!

My theory is that since everything is so off putting already - learning a new culture and job at work is exhausting, the family morning and night routines are changing we may as well use the opportunity to shake it all up.

As a result, it took two weeks for Jason and I to have a moment of clarity to realize we had somehow lost all house maintenance time in the shift of the schedule. Not only that but because Fenner's sleep schedule has been adjusted to an earlier time (7:00 - 7:30) we actually only have 3 hours a day together as a family.

How does one parent 15 hours a week? This question does nothing but drive home the pounding weight of guilt because, god help me, I am still in love with new job. I feel fulfilled, healthy and focussed. Talk about torn!

In the midst of transitioning my life my fantastic cousin Deanna called to find out if we were available for a play date on a rainy Sunday and in typical last minute fashion we were able to pull it together.

Happy children playing together stops the cycle of self-flagellation. We're all doing ok. Hari and Deanna have been juggling not only paying jobs but an artist's drive for creative outlet (Deanna's a singer). Thank god for great company!
It does beg the question:

How are the other double income families looking so goddam normal and together? The last time I felt this ramped and stretched out (literally and figuratively) was when Fenner was days old. I believe I may have at the time described what I was feeling as though I was a "political prisoner just escaped from a Chinese prison"*

*not to denigrate the plight of political prisoners but maybe to draw attention to the universal shock of new motherhood.

Fenner had a sleep over with Auntie Coco on Friday so Jason and I could remind ourselves of being in love and we had a fantastic night.

We met F and Carolyn at the CNE on Saturday night where we broiled ourselves in the hot sun of Carnie-Town. Fenner, is fearless. Any roller coaster she could get on with one of us was riddent and some of them were done without us.
She's all warmed up to go to the Perth Fair with Grandma and Grandpa on the long weekend. J and Fenner will be going to Smith's Falls for Labour Day weekend.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What are they going to say...

when I knit for the first time in the office? Once, I start knitting at lunch I might get my conversion numbers up as well as get me some amazing lined bike mittens! Fiddlehead mittens in Tanis fibre.

I'd been contemplating a job change for about a year when an opportunity arose at a really wicked internet consulting job downtown Toronto. Very young, glavanized and inspired team that is looking to do some work in the not for profit/charity sector.

What really grabbed my heart, for lack of a more pragmatic analogy, was the fact that all 5 people I spoke with in the interview process had passions outside of the immediate work. The benefits and impact of these interests seemed to fully impact the energy of the day to day work.

An urban cycling advocate and blogger, an Iron Man contender, VP of Talent who I've heard multiple co-workers thank personally for help she's given them, multiple dedicated parents to name a few.

Every day I meet more people who not only keep on top of their design and industry standards all while being engaged in their personal lives. I've been biking to work most days and it feels awesome. The business casual environment means that I don't wear yoga pants and pajamas anymore - you know? I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.

Speaking of business casual, Little Miss has discovered skinny dipping at the cottage...
I just can't wait until month one of adjusting to a new culture is done. It's exhausting learning a new culture, never mind one in which you're one of the oldest staff in the room.

How the hell did that happen?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Highlights from July

I cannot fathom how to write some of these drafts I've got in progress. I don't have a lot of brainpower right now and my Mimi, Husband and Knitting all deserve more than I've got.

Thus, a photblog bitches.

What better way to spend gridlock than making funny faces at me while wearing a crown.
Fenner had her first couple of runs through White's Falls at the cottage. I told her she couldn't touch the white water until she was paying taxes on her income but until then she and I could ride the current through the shallows. She loved it!
First dress up day at school. Luckily Grandma knew it was coming and made Fenner the most amazing ladybug costume. It was ridiculously cute. She has a matching purse filled with show and tell to enjoy.
The Taste of Little India introduced balloon animals back into the house. Jason knows how to make them and Fenner thought it was the most magical thing in the world to have a hat WITH a flower MADE OUT OF BALLOONS. Holy sweet jesus!
Jason and I had our anniversary in July. We went for dinner at Terroni. That place is romantic at all times. It was fabulous.
More soon. I'm going to try and do small 'placeholder' posts to hold me down until the weekend.

Hi Kristin!!

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Pro: Generational impact

Fenner and I were up North last weekend for a reboot weekend. Jason has been the primary parent for the past 2 weeks while my sisters and I tried to help my Mother with the overwhelming tasks associated with death.

Work has been full tilt and I've been really distracted while on deck. Jason needed some alone time and Fenner and I needed to get back online.

Last weekend was our chance. Con: I had to work for half of the days. Pro: Fenner absolutely loves my sister, Elizabeth, and my Mom. She baked pies with Mom and swam until she was blue in the face. At least, I cling to that pro because I'm a self-flagellating Mom who should not have been dividing her time between work and home...again, but that's not a new or original theme is it now?

On Sunday, I got back to the cottage and she was wedged in between Mom and Liz for nap. Mom was reading her a story and "rocking". This is an age old tactic she and Dad used to use to NUKE us kids into nap submission. There is no way to resist the combination of comfort and incredible body heat and if there was any soupcon of revolution in the air, my Mom would start rocking her body back and forth in a small, smooth gentle motion.

In minutes we'd be out.

Tonight, as we tried to settle she turned to me and said, "Mommy, please can you rock? No, not like that....like Nan?"

I do believe, I'll end on a Pro thankyouverymuchMom.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Kind of Flying Solo

It's been a crazy mad couple of weeks that have brought about massive life change. It marks the natural timely end of one long life, a new job, and many day to day adventures.

Needless to say there is a lot of draft posts lingering around here right now. Fenner and I went north for the long weekend without Jason. Unfortunately, I'm on call so am in Barrie right now maximizing the internet connection.

We went to the Six Mile Lake fireworks show last night in our little tin fishing boat. What a night. "Captain, my captain!"
Fresh and ready for the new adventure! Those curls make it very hard for me not to lick her head in an expression of feral mother love.

Oh, there was singing...much singing and yodelling!
It's nice to know that no matter how grown up our kids get, we all love us a snuggle fest.

Best use of handmade wool blanket from Northern Ontario!
The lake at sunset right before the fireworks. Basically what happens is that this bay fills up with boats and everyone sits and watches the show, whch was no amateur affair. I haven't been up the lake at night since our cottage cousins moved East. I'm ashamed to say I'd never seen the fireworks.
The night was magical.