Thursday, December 30, 2010

Dear Martha,

Still standing? Hope not, you should be having a nap right now. It's December 30th and with god as my witness I mean to end this year as I mean to go on in 2011, with perceived control.

Thanks for the dreamy scarf this year, right up my alley, you are a genius. Also, the fact we got to visit at Sally's was a great bonus, and I'm sure I'm not alone on this, the pleasure was tripled by the fact we didn't need to discuss/adjust the plan 4 times to make it happen. Go Team!

It seems so long ago now that visit. We've gone sledding, had no less than 3 holiday meals and traveled upwards of 2000 km since December 18th. No wonder I'm feeling a bit...taut.
I had a dream on the 23rd that was the perfect analogy for how I felt on Christmas Eve when Fenner was still throwing up at 6:00 pm.

In my dream, it's December 23rd. Jason and I had just finished wrapping the last of the gifts and were finalizing our list of what needs to get packed in the car on Christmas Eve before we drive to see our families.

Fenner and I were settling down to read a bed time story and there is a knock at the door. Lo and behold it's old St. Nick himself! Fenner squeals with joy, he has 1 cookie sheet and 1 gingerbread man cookie cutter in his hand and offers them to me with a pleading look in his eye and says, "Help me! Mrs. Claus has fallen sick and there is no one to bake Christmas Gingerbread Men for all the good little girls and boys of the world!"

At which point, I say, "Seriously? Is that a magic cookie pan because from what I can tell I can't make more than 6 men at a time on that?" Fenner gasps and looks at me accusingly. How dare I say no to SANTA MOTHERFUCKING CLAUS!

These cookies...they are the source of Christmas spirit! (Internal Commentary: If so important why not started earlier? Are you sure Mrs Claus is ill and not gone?)

The dream ended with me, as the enemy of all things Christmas, waking up in a cold sweat on December 27th after as perfect a Christmas as we could have hoped for but I thought it really was a spectacular manifestation of my feelings from Dec. 1-26th.

Clearly, feeling a little raw this year. What with the influenza, travel and now a cold, I actually believe that the Christmas Spirit was trying to kill us this year. Perhaps I really am Jewish and this is the way Christianity is trying not so subtly to give me the boot.

Next year, though, is going to be amazing! I've already started planning the stockings and possible cookbooks to research. I feel that if we used another type of bird altogether Christmas perfection could be achieved, perhaps a Goose instead of a Turkey is the key.


Your loving niece,



Yvette said...

Happy New Year to you too! Thanks for the lovely comments on my blog.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jen,
I was with you the whole way until you started planning next year's Christmas. Stop, already!

But thank you for admitting out loud that Christmas is a nightmare for mothers. A nightmare they put on themselves. Time to cast off the shackles!
Your loving aunt,

Jen said...

That's funny. It really does demonstrate the "do it myself' crazy though doesn't it?!

Next year will be all the chill of holiday, and none of the flu!