Tuesday, May 26, 2009

5 stages of the "Easy" Project

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grief as it applies to my knitting.

Stage 1: Denial

Without this stage most knitters would stop before they had even started new knitting projects. Take for instance this Simple but Effective Shawl that I started - I decided to double the project because I like them big. It's a super easy pattern so it would go super fast right? Right??

Friday afternoon: "I'm sure I'll finish this f&*(er on the trip to or from Smith's Falls. Then I can finish my Bonnie sweater - REWARD!"

Stage 2: Anger (where I was in the car on Sunday night)

340 stitches on 16" circular needles. I'm shocked that the 2 balls of Kureyon sock yarn are as big as they are. I've blamed Laura Chau for creating this monstrosity, Jason for breathing wrong and distorting the time/space continuum and Noro for making yarn that needs to be washed in order to be pleasant. It will be years before I'm done this fucking thing and I will hate it and everyone in it's gravitational pull until then.

Stage 3: Bargaining

In which I recognize that clearly I won't live long enough to finish all the yarn so I negotiated myself down to casting off when I hit the orange/red patch in the ball.....but then I got there and negotiated to knit more because if I ever had to knit with this yarn again I would probably never touch the needles again.

Then I realized I was talking out loud (again) and there were witnesses.
Stage 4: Depression.

Sigh. It just took me 20 minutes to knit 344 stitches.

O futility.
bad haikus help the passage
of time spent knitting5. Acceptance.

"This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle" Wikipedia

Sometimes it really does feel like this doesn't it?

4 comments:

Lise said...

Hahahhahahaaa. And we do this voluntarily.

canknitian said...

Oh knitting -- thou art a cruel b1tch. And we love thee all the same.

Your shawl looks beautiful from here!

Dr. Steph said...

I love you. You're hilarious. I'm knitting Shawl that Jazz and I have 1000 sts on the ruffle. How the fuck did that happen? (See I'm still in anger).

Carol said...

What Lise said :)