Saturday, November 24, 2007

What do you mean it's Saturday?

You'll love this Rams. Based on Fenner's awesome sleeping, last week I called my boss and told her that I'd like to start working again. Just a couple of hours a day say 10 to 20 a week enough to keep my brain from turning fully into mush

Clearly it was time for me to meet the Fates face to face because approximately 2 minutes after I hung up the phone Fenner woke up and stopped sleeping during the day for longer than 30 minutes at a time. Until Friday night after a day of spending time lounging on a beautiful new sheepskin from Lismore Sheep Farm at the Purple Purl being snuggled by le Den she slept from 6:30 pm to 9:00 pm and 9:30 pm to midnight and then midnight to 6:00 am.

She is currently sleeping like a dream right now. I have learned another lesson. I shall not plan life based on what we're doing right now, clearly, things will change and thusly so will I.

In other more victorious news. Winter arrived in Toronto last week! On Thursday it was snowing and cold - I felt like every trip out of the house was training for that day. We not only got out of the house but we went to yoga where I actually flexed a muscle and stretched a couple more. I met mothers that were the same crazy that I am - it felt like we had climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro.

Then on Friday when it was -20 C with wind chill - WE WENT FOR A WALK and spent the whole day out of the house. I am mother hear me roar!

Monday, November 19, 2007

So this is what you meant..

Something happened today. This beautiful picture is of a time when the perfect baby slept for a minimum of 3 hours at a time.

Actually, she's still perfect - I'm exhausted today due to a sudden engagement of ye olde cluster feeding that Fenner engaged in today. I actually don't mind the cluster feeding I think it's pretty cool natural engineering it's the prolactin high that cripples me into exhaustion.

Ah, prolactin.

On a completely different note I've recently become the owner of a sewing machine and am giddy to learn to quilt. Allison blogged about a quilt kit that she'd bought online but Kelly doesn't have any more kits for sale. I'm looking for a 'beginner' level quilting kit to cut my teeth on. Anyone got any recommendations? Right now, I'm just googling away..

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Fooled you!

I bet it's hard to believe that this isn't going to be a post about the spectacular baby in my arms. I can't blame you but before I do start writing about how super fantastische she is I'd like to draw your attention to the iridescent sweater that I am wearing.

You may recognize this sweater from here. While Alexis (the model) has cornered the market on spectacular boots and overall Sass - Fenner is *the* perfect enhancement for the beauty that is this sweater.

Way back when I was almost 42 weeks pregnant Laura brought Roam to our Stitch and Bitch and kindly let me try it on - over my enormous belly and it fit and I fell in love with it. Even through my frustrated impotent overly pregnant rage I found some positive love deep within me and gave it to the sweater.

Well, at the last stitch and bitch Laura gave it to me as a "I can't believe you're on the flipside" gift. I will be following Rachel's Thermal lead (read the Editor's note at the bottom) by donating to Knitters Without Borders in an attempt to pay it forward.

In the meantime, I haven't taken it off and Fenner loves to sleep against it when we're out for a walk and she's in the sling.

We are blessed.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Godmother of Art and Culture

Today le Bean and I did Mom and Tots Yoga. Well, to be fair, my only goal was to try and do some deep breathing. Since the birth it's been hard to engage my abdomen and I figure the best way to start without overdoing it is....take it back to the basics.



So we hung out with some alpha mommies and did some breathing. I did some stretching but certainly nothing compared to pre pregnancy yoga practise. It will come.


To the mother that mentioned to me over coffee afterwards that the sound of a baby choking is silent I say: Fuck you. These are things I know but did not need to hear. Jesus.


Then we went to see my Uncle David's piece at the Ontario Craft Council Gallery...or to show off our recently finished project to my Aunt, Godmother and kindred spirit. Meet my Aunt Sally - Stainglass Artist, Quilter, Folk Artist, and baby whisperer extraordinaire.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Triumverate is finally complete

Fenner and I went to our first stitch and bitch tonight. It was divine....not just because of the delicious Guiness but the company.

Laura gave me a "Congrats on getting that baby out!" gift that is deserving of it's own post.

The Triumverate was complete! How great are these babies!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Went for a walk with the mango.

God this must be boring for folks with no interest in babies. I can't help myself. Everyday gets better and better!

In preparation for flying solo to stitch and bitch Fenner and I took our Mango Baby out for a test drive. It was a fabulous day outside and we walked the neighborhood for a full hour - ran some errands at the hardware store, checked out the mom and tots yoga class and got some info on the local community centre.

It's nice to feel human again. Here's one for the photo album. My family hanging out and talking about their day after dinner.
In case you were wondering if I am still working with the sticks and strings. I also fixed the drive band on my new/old spinning wheel and am currently enjoying a fulfilling relationship with Cat Bordhi's mindblowing new sock book and some keepsake Fleece Artist yarn in the Baadeck Summer colourway that I got while on vacation with J last year.

Am in the middle of a cajillion other wips but the socks...I can't stop with the socks.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Note to self

Stop googling images of baby skin issues like diaper rashes. In fact, stop looking up any baby illness.

Jason came downstairs to find me weeping in my tea for all the poor baby butts - my hormonal heart broken.

Have applied obscene amount of Penaten to Fenner's not chafed at all but and am going to bed to snuggle her brains out.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Safe in the hands of the Knitters

We went out! Socially! With other grown ups!

Jason helped Fenner and I go meet the knitters - it was our first trip on the TTC with the stroller. I don't think any stroller is manageable for one woman on a streetcar.

IT'S THE MAN KEEPING US DOWN!! INDEPENDANT MOTHERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! FIGHT THE POWER!

Ah, hormones..... what was I writing about? Ah, yes...safe in the hands of knitters, Fenner.

What I'm really looking forward to is regaining the ability to hold a conversation for more than a couple of minutes . As it was I was rendered a babbling bubble brain by all the knitters in the room. Cornelia Tuttle Hamilton, Julia and their mysterious cohort in a beautiful sweater were very patient and understanding with my lack of conversational ability.

Besides which - Fenner can distract even the most conversational of adults. She's that great. Am looking forward to stitch and bitch on Wednesday, mostly for the opportunity to distract all the other right thinking adults with my awesome baby because lord knows I'm not the best at finishing a complete thoug...

Where was I? I can't remember - happy Saturday everybody!

Friday, November 09, 2007

We sprung ourselves!

Signs and indications that I might be a first time mother on her first solo flight:

a) I packed travel sized everything in the diaper bag...including a travel sized bottle of shampoo(you never know when an emergency bath is necessary) but did not have kleenex to deal with a giant spit up occurring 2 seconds after our exit from the house.

Not to worry my fine friends - it's amazing how much barf a disposable breast pad can soak up in a pinch! I'm MacGyver with a uterus - much more practical

b) I waited until Fenner was finished her nap before leaving. It just seemed smart and knit efficient to let her sleep it out. Then I started wondering....is this the way it's supposed to work for the rest of my life?!?! Enter a hormone induced panic attack before I pulled myself together to realize that I could in fact transport a napping baby and breastfeed at a friendly coffee shop if need be.

But I was enjoying the knit time and the CBC so I knit and waited for her to wake up...got more knitting done today than I have in 2 weeks coincidentally.

c) Once she woke up I changed her, dressed her for the outside world and settled in for a feeding. 4 minutes later she made it loudly known that I shouldn 't have dressed her for the outside world after changing her because I needed to change her again.

This is for you Meghan!
Three hours after deciding that we would go for a walk today here we were almost out the door.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Isn't that just the way.

What a great day and a half with my sisters.

Those two are just life savers and snugglers extraordinaire. We snuggled Fenner's little brains out. Talked about boyfriends (theirs not mine), careers and family.

It was good for the soul.

The second they walked out the door Fenner decided to stop sleeping....or maybe I need to stop futzing every time she squeeks. So. Hard.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Moments from the past few days

To take some of the frustrated sad edge of the past two posts off, some beautiful family moments.
A Mimi in Mid-Plotz.Jason G: Father, Cat Lover, Cute Magnet.
FUN LOUD FUN AUNTIES!! My sisters came and saved our lives today. We had fun and lots of chats.You simply *must* try this Vintage Breastmilk; Full bodied, full flavoured, simply mana from the heavens. A Giant with his heart on his sleeve, Grandpa Gemmill.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Minor Setbacks

After feeling great for the past 3 or 4 days we suffered a minor set back last night here at Casa de Awesome Baby.

I 'A-Typed' myself back into bedrest for a couple of days. To be honest, I didn't even think I was doing all that much but my body....she is boss and she thinks otherwise.

At least the midwives are coming for a visit today so they can check me out. J had to take a sick day from work (fuck.) and we're thanking our lucky stars that my sisters will be here on Wednesday and Thursday.

My pity party last night was spectacular especially since it was seasoned with a dash of impotent rage induced temper tantrum. Pretty. At least some mileage was made on the alpaca bunting for Fenner, at this rate she'll fit it for a week before she grows out of it.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Am having a snit..be back later

My body has flipped me the bird and am newly incapacitated.

Here's a retarded recommendation to give a first time mother of a new born: Try not to walk around at all.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Stupid day job.

After a full month off, Jason is going back to work tomorrow. This was one of the clocks we had ticking in the back of our minds every day that Fenner went past her due date. The last week of her gestation was fraught with the debate about whose schedule took precedence.

While I was bedridden he brought 3 meals a day with 2 snacks up to me in bed - fruits, veggies and high fibre breads/cereals always. I've never eaten such balanced healthy meals. My only job was to breastfeed and snuggle our baby and his only priority was to enable me to do just that.

Our house is spotless, our clothes clean, I didn't change a single diaper until I was somewhat recovered and even though he made me laugh hard enough to worry about busting stitches, I didn't.

I know it's wrong and it's most probably due to a hormone rush of self pity right now...but I want a "do over" for the whole month. I want Jason not to take off for vacation until the due date or afterwards to start with...then there would be one less clock that we'd have to race when we went post dates.

I'm still not sure we made the right decisions throughout the course of the month but what I do know is that Fenner and I wouldn't be doing as well as we are right now if Jason hadn't been with us for at least the past week.

All this to say, I'm feeling pretty ok about going it alone this week. Our fridge is full of delicious food and casseroles from friends and family. My mom will be by tomorrow to help me out and my sisters will be by on Wednesday and Thursday to sub in as well. It doesn't take the burn off of the fact that Jason has to go back to the real world but it'll help us adjust.

We bought a lottery ticket tonight and we're hoping we win just so he can quit his job and enjoy happy baby time with a healed and healthy partner.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Four Generations of Stubborn Independance

Here we have four generations of the women in my family. In one place. All alive. All with opinions that cannot be disputed.

The cycle of life continues, welcome to the club Fenner. You already fit right right in.

Friday, November 02, 2007

The outside world...filled with lattes and fall weather

We went outside for the first time yesterday, Fenner's one week birthday. Man, it was awwesome. It's like we went into the hospital in summertime and came out of the fog and it was fall - the best season of the year. The Dark Horse is less than a block away and has spectacularly beautiful and delicious lattes.

Look! It's me! Outside! I'm wearing grown up clothes and clean underwear!!!!! This is also our new stroller. We love it. It's so light that even I could push it and I'm not my usual Herculean self as of late.


Fenner got dressed up for the occasion in her fave Punkin Hat and Smoking Jacket. The Punkin hat is made from a kit from Lettuce Knit out of the truly divine Dream in Colour and was a night's worth of knitting for the infant sized hat. The cardigan is out of Rowan All Season's Cotton and from Charmed Knits by Erika Knight, also a quick and adorable knit. The button's were vintage from Lettuce as well.

I loved the overall effect and it totally distracted a herd of mothers at the coffee shop from the fact that Fenner had no pants on...diapers, yes, blankets yes, but no pants. I was afraid of the mommy judgement...which I think was waylaid by the hat and sheer adorablility of the Pork Bun.

It's been prophesied by a random stranger named Mysterio that this child will be a Monkey Wrangler one day and judging by the size of her feet and hands - this is quite believable - we will keep you updated as to the progress of her training. This pic is for you Auntie E.


We had four generations of women in my house today so I'm knocked on my cottage cheesy ass. My Mimi who is at least 93 was rendered helpless in the face of another great-granddaughter. As she left she told Jason and I that we'd done magnificently.

Thank god I remembered the pants today.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

When nothing else works....bring in the handknits.

Thanks for all of your comments on our most spectacular of babies. I didn't know that many people read my ironically named blog..

We are over the moon with the "happy" to have her safe, healthy and on the outside. It brought me no small amount of satisfaction that she came out with both middle fingers flared at the doctors - pink and screaming with all the rage of someone woken up from a nap too soon. We all know what *that's* like. I'm writing her birthstory but it's taking awhile...not unlike her actual birth.

When we were growing up we would spend entire summers at our cottage with my Mom and usually random cousins from the States. My Mom was very strict about afternoon napping when we were up north.

I guess when you have at least four kids that span 10 years from oldest to youngest, napping is a survival requirement and like all herds of children we could wind ourselves up to the point of no return unless intervention was used and coincidentally our bedroom was up in the loft at the peak of our little wooden cottage.

I'm not sure if you've ever had the dubious pleasure of sleeping in a loft in the peak of summer but it is a hot dry heat that has the tranquilizing force of a dozen rhino darts. Mom would herd us up to the loft after lunch - I learned much later that the rule about not swimming after eating was made up just to facilitate the herding. INJUSTICE!

After being successfully confined to our fates we would spend 10 minutes whining about the injustice of it all, 15 minutes reading old school comic books and 1 hour sleeping the sleep of active sun kissed naturally tranquilized children. My cottage cousins may remember us being yanked back to home base in the middle of swimming fun before lunch not to be seen again until hours later with sheet wrinkles baked into our faces and ready to go.

I introduce you to the power of the handknit blanket or as we have taken to calling it - The Nuker. At this stage Fenner generally sleeps a minimum of 2 hours between feedings and is having no problem at all but every once in awhile she throws us for a loop and refuses to shut her beautiful perfect eyes...for those moments we enlist the a Nuker.

A Nuker is any handmade blanket - This particular model is a night time special, made by many hands of many women it has the perfect amount of warmth and weight so that the comfort it provides is unbeatable.

While it pays to understand the properties of the fibre used on the blanket to use it effectively the true power lies within it's creation - collaborative/coordinative effort, sheer force of will, ability to finish, pure affection for the the mother and as yet unborn Pork Bun.

To maximize the aforementioned qualities special attention to the fibre can be helpful. Plant fibres are versatile and lightweight - perfect for a mid-afternooner whereas animal fibres are the big guns used for night time desperation when I have emptied the breasts and she is ready to party.