Monday, May 14, 2007

Why Facebook is not for me.

I'm an awkward blabber mouth in person - facebook really magnifies this quality as demonstrated by these moments:

1. I mentioned to a friend of Jason's that I was excited to see her at the wedding in Smith's Falls at the end of the month. Seemingly harmless until I find out that she isn't invited to this particular wedding. Some of the burn was soothed when J mentioned that she wouldn't have expected an invite.

2. Our friend Gord Oxley was having a birthday party on Saturday night. I messaged him that I was looking forward to celebrating his impending age upgrade - to which he replied that he was wondering if anything was happening for his birthday. J later tells me that it was a surprise birthday party.

Folks who are known to be the walker spoiler alerts should not be allowed on Facebook.

3. An exboyfriend found me on Facebook. This would have been ok but for the fact the second our relationship (almost 10 years ago I might add) got sexual, the dude never called me back - in fact, I never heard from him again. Until he invited me to be a friend on Facebook...wtf?

This event opened the door to a vindictive, vengeful, "hell hath no fury" personality that I forgot existed. I spent the next three hours going through his friends and finding all the mutual friends from high school and work and inviting them to be my friend - then proceeded to reject his invitation. I ensured that the revenge would be complete by posting a picture of me 5 years ago looking svelte, tanned and summerfic in a bikini.

THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE. Clearly hell hath no fury like a woman scorned who is PREGNANT when the opportunity for petty revenge presents itself.

It seems to me, that a woman who is deliriously happy to be carrying the baby of someone who she counts as being the best and most amazing partner in crime in her life should be able to rise above these moments

But no, and now, I will be using this story in my one woman play.

14 comments:

Dr. Steph said...

And I will come and see this play. Blogging is more your medium.

Jillian said...

I hate the facebook and avoid it like the plague. I'm positive I would do something crazy on it so I figure if I never sign up, then it can't happen!

Rachel H said...

I have to admit I'm not feeling the facebook love. Sadly, not for any reasons as dramatic as yours.

I do enjoy the poking though.

Jen said...

i too enjoyed the poking Rachel H.

Not An Artist said...

I have slightly different reasons for loathing facebook. It just makes me feel like an angsty and sad 15-year-old. And yet I can't. stop. checking it.

Jeff B said...

Come on, I already know you want to check the Institute Group....You'll never quit it. Stronger people have tried to quit, and all have failed....everyone still a facebook user.....

Anonymous said...

Wow, these are exactly these reasons I am not on the facebook. I often say (or do) things and then say later "I am such a ....
This at 42, there is clearly no hope for me.
I also have one ex who I would definitely not want to easily find me.
But I'm all power to pregnant scorned chicks. I actually laughed out loud when I read that you declined him. What a maroon!

Leslie - knit therapist

krista said...

WICKED! Let's be facebook friends. I tried to add you, but I couldn't find you- search for me baby! maybe you'll have better luck.

Sandi Purl said...

i will miss you facebook friend. i'm so glad that we are friends regardless. eff the facebook. i totally understand. can i be in your one woman play? oh, that's "one" woman. oops! lol

krista said...

Ah, so you did indeed rise above, no facebook for you....

Darn.

I guess I'll have to find other ways to poke you (and baby.)

krista said...

poke.

Val said...

My ex found me. So I searched for my hubby's ex. I found her. Then, in my own moment of sheer delirium messaged her. And oh, the snowball that came out of that. Nothing good has come out of facebook for me yet, the worse being the invite from my boss. I'll stop here :)

Peggy said...

Will miss you on facebook. Poke.

Deana said...

I think I would have gone on longer then 3 hours on that one! I still rage about Jimmy John's (sandwich restuarant) and a particular order from a year ago when I was preggo. Lovely bear outfit up above!