Thursday, May 31, 2007

Third Time's a Charm

So there are things that no one ever tells you before you decide to have a delicious baby. For example: That your sense of size will no longer have any basis on reality. I have no idea how big I am. I *feel* large and in charge and yet....have gained 2 pounds.

Case in point 1. I have started a simple pair of socks THREE times in an effort to get a pair that will fit me. This is at least my 24th pair of socks that I've knit and I can't seem to get gauge. As demo'd here my socks fit perfectly on the head of my happy zen buddy or whatever his name is....actually it's kind of cute. I may just throw in the towel and make a toque for him.

Case in point 2. The Baby Pea Pod in Dream in Color "Classy" (because you just *know* any baby of mine is going to put the ass back in Classy...yuk yuk) So adorable and so very knit for a freakishly tall and wide 2 year old when I was aiming for the freakishly adorably 6 month old baby set. I even did a very tiny half hearted gauge swatch.

Luckily this is a *fast* knit - I started (twice) on Sunday and am almost done the body. I'll be riiiiiping this out today so that I can aim for a size that might fit a little person under the age of 12. Isn't it dreamy though? Thank god I love knitting this sweater.

There are other things that happen but I have to check in with the union to find out if I'm allowed to talk about them. I will say this: Farts that have the power to enter your dreams in REM cycle and turn them into nightmares about the smell being so awful that you inadvertantly sent it in an email to your coworkers. Seriously, it woke me up and I thought I was going to die.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

My husband's people.

The tiny local theatre that is responsible for me meeting my partner in crime just started their first real ad campaign. Viral advertising is a penniless charity theatre's best friend - if this makes you chuckle send it to someone you know who likes a chuckle. It might just keep a little underground comedy alive.

Anyway I totally blame the Bad Dog Theatre for the fact I now wake up 3 times a night to empty my squished bladder. They made it up to me with this hilarious little improv video. Breastfeeding. It's good for everyone.

Do yourselves a favor and go see some local comedy tonight whereever you are and get some laughter going on. It's good for you and your babies.


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Friday, May 25, 2007

The following *will* induce ovulation.

I give you the Debbie Bliss - Teddy Bear All in One(sie). In Dale of Norway Baby Ull with the ears done in a Fleece Artist Cashmere blend or something (Erin gifted me the mystery ball).

J picked out this pattern to knit and it is truly adorable. Though,I'm not sure why Debbie Bliss is so attached to creating so many ends. Her patterns are clear and very well written...but the ends. So many things to sew on, tuck in or seam. In spite of the finishing, this was a lot of fun to knit. Erin, thank you so much for the beautiful taster of the brown mystery Fleece Artist yarn (silk blend maybe?) because it really finished off the hoodie - and I HATE having to buy a ball of yarn for the 3 meters I would need to do this. I love that the ears are variegated too - they make me very very happy.MORE CUTE EAR!

Ladies, if you have sex in the next week or so MAKE SURE TO USE PROTECTION. I swear these ears could make a man ovulate.

UPDATE: Fleece Artist Godiva is what the ears are made of.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Squatters Rights!

At the halfway mark.

I think I'm experiencing what they call Runners High. I feel great and am wondering why I waited until I was pregnant to take such good care of myself. My Aunt Martha has indicated that by weeks 36 through 40 the runners high may wear off and time will slow to a crawl. I'm choosing denial as my coping mechanism thankyouverymuch.

In order to make room for my squatter's frighteningly large cranium, we've been forced to undergo some radical renovations.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The cottage has been yarnified

We got back last night after a perfect weekend at the cottage. I can usually gauge the cottage satisfaction for the season by the quality of this weekend - did you set yourself up for a summer of family frustration and neverending cottage repairs? Or, did you get the necessary done and did everyone agree on the summer priorities and more importantly DID YOUR FATHER FIND A WICKED ASS CONTRACTOR?!?

Yes to all of the above - hooray for DAD!!!!

My sister and her partner, J and I and my parents got the water running and even managed to clear our some of the Mystery items that found their way to the cottage over the season last year.

I find it infinitely satisfying to cull the crap that gathers in herds in the sheds and the shelves. Broken toys, heaters that are in fact spectacular weapons of destruction, fishing poles that are missing half of their poles and lures that will give us all cancer one day.

My recent lifestyle change (ie: waking up at hours obscene to all but new mothers and not spending the evenings attached to a delicious bottle of merlot) at the cottage are most pleasant. Dawn up north is everything it is in the city only, beautiful and peaceful.

The happy summer suprise is there is a new yarn shop that has opened in our nearest town Coldwater! Lynn is a delightful spinner and knitter who opened up a mere two weeks ago. Her display cases are all made of barnwood from their barn that fell down the year before and are full of loose teas (some her own blend) and delicious natural fibres.

It's a wonderful shop and if you happen to be passing through off of highway 12 or a short stop off the 400 just north of Barrie you'll get a warm welcome from her

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Blog fodder for a blank mind: The Meme

Dr. Steph tagged me for the 7 facts meme and since I'm so obsessed with knitting stockinette this is way more interesting for you than my knitting or spinning.

Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game.

1. When I was a little baby I had surgery to correct my lazy eye. It's kind of grown out now and if you're lucky, if the light is right and I'm just tired enough you'll catch my right eye trying to make it's escape over to the right side.

Jason likes to kiss me with his eyes open because my lazy eye will often wig out when I try to focus on objects close to my face. He's a sick bastard

2. I think that drinking home roasted coffee from The Merchants of Green Coffee out of a homemade mug is one of the most luxurious acts in my life. I feel blessed that I get to do it every day.

3. Part of me is terrified that mother nature is getting me ready for no sleep for the rest of my life by having me wake up between 4:00 and 6:00 in the morning everyday. Part of me is comforted by the fact that nature takes care of these sorts of details so that hopefully I can fight the bigger fires. But mostly I'm terrified.

On the bright there any better time to write and have a fresh cup of joe?

4. I believe that the only plants that don't die in my home and garden are the ones I say hello to every day. This leads to some pretty crazy compulsive behaviour - we recently planted a flower box in our "front yard" and every morning I go outside to check on the plants and see how they are doing. Yesterday I noticed that there was new growth and I was relieved that my theory still holds true

5. I am afraid or shy about almost everything I do. Everything from meeting new people, to doing comedy, to skydiving, starting a new job, learning a new stitch - the full spectrum of risk activity. Life is a series of leaping off of cliffs. I live a lot of my life taking a deep breath and taking the plunge and doing my best to have fun while surviving. Sometimes it's exhausting.

There is a direct correlation between how scared or shy I am and the amount of fun I will have.

6. Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. Right after the scorching heat of the summer the fall feels like sweet relief and the colours of the trees, spectacular. I'm very happy that our baby is due around that weekend.

7. I got a thank you card from the mother of the boy I gave Spherey to. I didn't realize that the doctors recommend the kids have a toy that they bring in for treatments - Spherey went through some pretty heavy rounds of chemo (he got the needle first before J did) and was a real trooper. J and Spherey are starting back at school next week!

Spherey is my proudest creation, simple to knit but gave more than any other of my handknits.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Why Facebook is not for me.

I'm an awkward blabber mouth in person - facebook really magnifies this quality as demonstrated by these moments:

1. I mentioned to a friend of Jason's that I was excited to see her at the wedding in Smith's Falls at the end of the month. Seemingly harmless until I find out that she isn't invited to this particular wedding. Some of the burn was soothed when J mentioned that she wouldn't have expected an invite.

2. Our friend Gord Oxley was having a birthday party on Saturday night. I messaged him that I was looking forward to celebrating his impending age upgrade - to which he replied that he was wondering if anything was happening for his birthday. J later tells me that it was a surprise birthday party.

Folks who are known to be the walker spoiler alerts should not be allowed on Facebook.

3. An exboyfriend found me on Facebook. This would have been ok but for the fact the second our relationship (almost 10 years ago I might add) got sexual, the dude never called me back - in fact, I never heard from him again. Until he invited me to be a friend on

This event opened the door to a vindictive, vengeful, "hell hath no fury" personality that I forgot existed. I spent the next three hours going through his friends and finding all the mutual friends from high school and work and inviting them to be my friend - then proceeded to reject his invitation. I ensured that the revenge would be complete by posting a picture of me 5 years ago looking svelte, tanned and summerfic in a bikini.

THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE. Clearly hell hath no fury like a woman scorned who is PREGNANT when the opportunity for petty revenge presents itself.

It seems to me, that a woman who is deliriously happy to be carrying the baby of someone who she counts as being the best and most amazing partner in crime in her life should be able to rise above these moments

But no, and now, I will be using this story in my one woman play.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Some finished objects to make you look purdy.

I'm having a really hard time engaging in anything more complicated then the moss stitch right now. I blame GARGALOR! as a result I give you some classic simple knits that I've finished in the last week or so.

The big bad baby blanket and umbilical hat from Stitch n' Bitch in Trekking XXL. We don't know what sex Gargalor is going to committ to and we don't plan on finding out so I'm enjoying gender neutral colors and focussing on soft yarn and yarn that wears to soft. This is a simple knit to pass the first trimester. God it was a slow trimester as we counted each day that we didn't miscarry. This was a perfect knit for that time.
My goal for the wedding in Brentwood Bay was to knit and make all my accessories. I managed to do meet my deadline for possibly the first time in my knitting career. I chose another simple but beautiful knit - the Goldilocks Shawl from Fleece Artist.

The smell of silk grew on me during this knit. Up until my Sandi inspired shawl the smell of silk sort of put me off, now I don't want to wash this shawl and lose the delicious perfume. Maybe the reason for my love of the simple knit could be put to this pretty little trinket. I have to admit that this is only part one of the necklace. There are tiny crocheted floral charms to be added. I just needed to catch my breath from the 1mm crochet hook. I have way too many works in progress right now and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Which is not the way my knitting is supposed to make me feel. I'm looking forward to showing you some finished baby gear, a sweater and a pair of socks in the next week or so.

Oh and this was the view from our room in BC. I love BC. So much room to breath.

And of course everything was in full bloom.

Friday, May 04, 2007

The land of giants

I'm leaving to spend the weekend here at 6:10 pm. My best friend's younger sister is getting married and I'm going as the scandalously big and juicy date of my oldest girlfriend. My shawl is finished, the necklace complete and the feet, pedicured.

It's going to be most excellent to see her family again as they are from Scotland and BC. I love weddings and BC is so incredibly glorious in all it's natural beauty that I'm just giddy to get out there.

Of course, it helps that for the first time in my life I'm sitting in Executive! Class! Do you know how much knitting I can bring because of this???

Pictures on Monday.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I don't mean to be a bitch but...

This is what I just finished doing on my lunch break today.

Turned some delicious merino fluff from The Black Lamb that I bought at the Knitter's Frolic (last year) into divine dreaminess. Don't even get me started on this year's Frolic binging. Am sitting in my yoga gear enjoying some fresh roasted this morning coffee and spinning in between phone calls and research.

Am very happy with the state of affairs right now. Very. Happy. As the dearly departed Vonnegut once said,

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think
at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

This is destined to become my first navajo plied spinning. I'll be calling in all tutors to help me as I'm not all that coordinated right now.

Hell, I've been tipping over and swerving while I walk for the past week now. Apparently GARGALOR just wants to sit for a bit.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Collector

So I was recently contacted by a person that told me that she had been hired by my new health insurance carrier to come to my house TO COLLECT MY URINE. She didn't give me any credentials or ID or references.

Apparently this is quite normal, but I've never had to do this for anyone outside of a doctor's office or a midwives collective.

The lady came to my house this morning and gave me a little cup (you guys know the kind) and two little test tubes. While I was in the loo (thank god she didn't have to watch) I could hear her chatting my cat up. When I came out she told me all about her three cats at home and how well they all get along.

I suppose that it shouldn't surprise me that someone who's job it is to collect strangers' bodily fluids is somewhat of a cat lady.

When I told her I was pregnant she mentioned that she may have to come back and take my blood. I told her that it would be over my dead body that I let someone literally off the street come into my house and take a vial of my blood. I'm just that paranoid.

First the Nestle Babyclub and now this?? I feel like I'm in the Matrix right now.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The emotional roller coaster ride that is my mail

Received in today's mail delivery:

a) Receipt of fleece delivery from Lindenhof Mills - Yay!

b) Letter of rejection from Ryerson for the midwifery program - Boo! But I'm vaguely relieved as I feel that having a new baby, a new job and starting a new program was a recipe for a breakdown.

c) My Spinners Quarterly in which you can find a book review by yours truly! Thanks Ms. SQ!

d) A welcome package from (all the lactaction consultants need to sit down) NESTLE EFFING BABY CLUB. I have an idea how they may have gotten my mailing information but my repulsion knows no bounds. The Magazine is currently on the floor of my office staring at me...daring me to read it's articles that will only make me rage against the machine....