Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday Random Ten

The Thank God It's Pay Day Edn:

What are my "I was so good for the past two weeks" treats? This and this and I'm going to invest the spindling workshop at the frolic taught by Lorraine Smith and then I'll be done. A total of: $100.00 (when you include the fleece I'll need to spin). Am excited.

1. Coldplay, Garden State: Don't Panic
2. The Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs, Vol 1: Come Back From San Franscisco
3. Laura Cantrell, Not the Tremblin Kind: Churches off the Interstate
4. Broken Social Scene/Emily Haines, Bee Hives: Backyards
5. Martha Wainwright, Bloody Motherfucking Asshole: When the Day is Short
6. OK Go, Oh No: Invincible
7. Mono Puff, Unsupervised: What Bothers the Spaceman
8. Stars, Set Yourself On Fire: Sleep Tonight
9. The Arcade Fire, Funeral: Une Annee Sans Lumiere
10. Calexico, Ballad of Cable Hogue Sdtrk: Ballad of Cable Hogue (french)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Happiness is:

After a long and brutal day at the office getting shit kicked by a brutal client I went to Lettuce Knit for the weekly stitch and bitch. It was like walking into a room stuffed with funny, talented, brilliant, positive, inspiring padded walls. I was just that crazy and beaten down by the end of the day.

It was perfect and rejuvenating. Denny told us about a dream she had, folks talked about their lives and knitting challenges. Mel reinspired me to pick up the drop spindle. I could just sit and knit and listen all night. I can't wait til next week when I will be able to give back the good vibes I used up this week!!

Perfect. It's a perfect haven.


Monday, March 27, 2006

Arthritis: The Enemy of Knitters Everywhere

Yo dudes,

My Mom is swimming in the Arthritis Society's Big Swim event to help raise awareness and money for research. This is huge in a lot of ways - she has committed to swimming over a thousand laps. In Barrie. In Springtime.

These two last points may not mean much to you and other double legged folks but my mom - she's got one beautiful gam and let me tell you the swimming is only half the challenge.

I'm so proud I could explode which is so messy and so cathartic.

So if you've got $5.00 you're not doing anything with click here and support her. Besides folks, arthritis sucks ass and here's why.

• Arthritis is among Canada’s most common chronic conditions, with
more than four million Canadians affected by this debilitating disease
• Arthritis knows no boundaries – it can strike anyone at anytime,
regardless of age, physical condition or ethnicity
• The term “arthritis” (‘arth’ meaning joint, ‘itis’ meaning
inflammation) includes more than 100 diseases and conditions – rheumatoid
arthritis, osteoarthritis, gout, lupus and juvenile arthritis are just a
• Osteoarthritis is the most common form of the disease in adults,
affecting 1 in 10 Canadians
• Juvenile arthritis is among the most common chronic childhood
disorders, causing severe pain, disability and even deformity
• It
affects more adults than cancer, heart disease, espiratory conditions and spinal
cord trauma
• As the baby boomer population ages, one million more Canadians per
decade will be diagnosed with arthritis, at least until 2031

Sunday, March 26, 2006

For the love of competition and winning..

I've been known to have a touch of competition running through my veins. If there isn't anyone around to compete with I will compete with myself or people from my past. I'm just that crazy. Recently, I've really tried hard to curb this unceasing need to BEAT EVERYONE AT EVERYTHING.

Yoga is helpful now that I stopped trying to out stretch everyone else and learned to meditate. I've stopped playing video games in group settings and I've put down the Jenga block for a time out.

On Friday when I went to the dentist and had my annual physical I realized that my hygiene and health habits are existing solely to give the finger to my healthcare professionals. I floss every day and brush three times a day so that my dental hygienist HAS NO AMMO. I lost 15 lbs and quit smoking so that my doctor had nothing to nag me about. Although she has recently started ruining red wine for me and I refuse to give it up.

I'm 31 years old and I've never had a cavity, caught an STD or gotten sick on Tequila (although Tequila gave me a run for my money on Saturday night) I may get a business card made up with that tag line.

I'm a modern day Wonder Woman of hygiene. Doctors and dentists feel ambivalent about me for the lack of money I pay them and gingivitis germs fear me!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

When Thursday is the new Friday.

I'm not in the office tomorrow as I have the thrilling business of enjoying all of my annual medical appointments. You know the ones, don't make me go into details about cold doctor's implements.

As a result of my not being in the office tomorrow I have finished all my work and have BEEN PATIENTLY WAITING FOR 5:00pm. This patient waiting has been going on for over one hour now and in that time span I took Amy's advice and set up my Bloglines.

Finally. All websites and blogs that I frequent are in one convenient place. Of course, I'm very happy with my little OCD self having organized 55 feeds into 6 different folders including one folder just for blogs that I read infrequently and one for new blogs that I'm not sure about yet.

How satisfying. It's the equivalent of spring cleaning for my interweb space.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

If my last post made you think I was "up a stump" this one is going to blow your minds

I'm looking for midwives and doulas in the Toronto area (specifically Riverdale and Roncesvalle) to interview. I will be calling the collectives but if anyone has a midwife that you would recommend let me know in the comments and I'll email you tonight...

Yeah I know I know...but I'm not knocked up I SWEAR IT.

Now that we're not buying a house....I'm considering a drastic career change and would like to meet a few midwives (as many as possible really) to learn about their experiences etc before I take the proverbial leap off the cliff. I'll be taking my prerequisite sciences this year and applying for the September 2007 academic year.

My Partner In Crime (PIC) has gently suggested that maybe I research the profession by talking to some people working in the field in Toronto before I quit my job and force the two of us to live in abject poverty.

Since my Gemini tendancies have me running amok instigating obscene and excruciating life changes at the drop of a hat I thought: "Hmm...maybe I'll research this a bit before I quit my job that brings in half our income...thereby inhibiting us from owning a home or providing food for Moonoonit"

Monday, March 20, 2006

World meet Moonoonit Hoot Gemmill

Me: It'll be a hoot to have a kid!

Him: That should be it's middle name: Hoot

Me: Perfect, though it makes me think of pot smoking.

Him: Moonunit Hoot Gemmill - perfect for a boy or a girl.

Me: (demonstrating minor illiteracy) How would you pronounce that? Moonoonit similar to Nunavut?

Him: Moon Unit, like Frank Zappa's kid.

Me: Why don't I just pop the kid right into the bullys fist and skip the middle man.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

How do you spell relief? SOLD TO SOMEONE ELSE

So the house, she got sold to someone else last night while I was at the DKC eating my brown bagged snacks and THINKING THINKING THINKING about it.

Clearly, this is a sign from the gods that the pipes they were made of lead, the wiring was 40 years old, the roof is about to collapse, there is a family of hibernating skunks living under the Mojito porch and the current tenants are running a well camouflaged crack house in the basement.

A moment of silence for the future troubles of the new owners.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Are you there God? It's me Jennifer Margaret

Dear Yarn God;

Can you please send me a sign to tell me that the vaguely fishy smell emanating from my newly finished Seasilk shawl is because I had fish chowder two days ago?

Not that I don't find the smell of ocean unpleasant, it's that I'm worried that the person I give this shawl to will start attracting the neighborhood cats in such a way that would make the Pied Piper jealous.

That the silk was a dream to knit with is besides the point. I've lived on both coasts of Canada the vague odor of fish is the beginning of a much more terrible smell if the source isn't identified.

Thanks for thinking of me!


Jennifer Margaret Marie (who loves to swim in the sea)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

So there we were minding our own business.

And the perfect house just came up to us and bitchslapped us right in the faces.

Sunday. We woke up early. Seriously, WE woke up early - I DON'T WAKE UP. It's just not what I do. Anyway we got up, made breakfast, had mid morning nookie LIKE WE DID WHEN WE DATED and went for a stroll through the neighborhood. We do this every once in awhile - then we check out open houses if the house looks neat or just wander through Riverdale.

That's when we found the perfect house. We wandered in because the front porch had two wicker chairs and a coffee table out and it looked comfy.

Private large(ish) backyard for Jason - wrap around mojito porch for me. Freshly renovated rental apartment WITH LONG TERM TENANTS. New furnace, central air conditioning, energy efficient washer/dryer in both apartments and a finished DRY BASEMENT.

It's beautiful. So I turn to J and say...what do you think it's worth - I'm betting 500,000, he ups my ante to $550 000.

We ask the agent for the asking price and he throws a number less than 400 000 in our face like it's not going to change our lives, what we want and our level of desperation. I actually got dizzy and nauseous. That number is actually doable. Our ducks aren't exactly in a row and we have no fucking clue as to how real estate works but we got very very excited. I'm a hyper gemini, I get excited if there is a sunny day in March but J, he's the true barometer of "is this worth hyperventilating for" excitement. EVEN HE WAS EXCITED.

Since then we've started corralling those messy ducks into some form of a row, we expect to meet the bank this week. Once we know if they are going to laugh at us or show us some honey we will call the real estate agent.

Holy shit.

Friday, March 10, 2006

A new perfect rainy morning song

Backyards, Broken Social Scene/Emily Haines from Beehives. Listen to it and other songs by Broken Social Scene here.

Emily Haines has liquid pipes and the organ and mixing in this song gets me going without wrecking my morning zen.

I am a delicate flower before 10:00am.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Random Thoughts - A photo journal

I've been a lazy lazy blogger recently. Finding the time to actually sit and write has been a challenge for the first time in months. I'm sure that's not true, there must have been moments that I did more than just posted links to cool things online so that I wouldn't have to actually deal with content - it just seems like it's been too long.

I'm trying to remind myself of this moment in December. I knew the March blaws were coming and yet I made no provisions to deal with the blaw vaccuum that comes with them. At every turn I find crankiness and moodiness. Moooooody.

Mayhaps this picture will cheer me up. Just over a year ago we got a kitty who inherited J's personality.

Luckily my cat, Lenin, was around to teach the Smudge how to spoon. For the knitters: yes that is a crocheted blanket underneath them. I was a crocheter first.
Of course, this is the moment that Smudge and J became fast friends.

Oh my god, maybe I need to go and fake and bake for a few minutes...just to get a fix you know what I'm saying? This picture was taken at White's Falls up the lake from our cottage. I'M DYING FOR THAT MUCH HEAT.

My Auntie Anne and kindred spirit. Don't make me explain it. This was taken at the cottage and dear god if I had a dollar for every picture taken of a member of the family in this pose (ie: with a Chonger)...well, I'd wouldn't be working. I miss this lady.

Oh the fun that we have oh the fun fun fun fun.

I have no freaking clue why I don't have any more pictures of Dan and Jess but while you look at this fuzzy piece of love imagine the three of us in some dirt ass bar in Montreal with full pitchers of St. Amboise on our heads getting a table of frat boys to join us. They clean up nice. AND LOOK THERE IS FOLIAGE! Sorry that's the rambling of a desperate woman.

My Mimi and my Mom. I have nothing to say. They made me what I am today. For the knitters: my Mimi knit that sweater - she taught me no less than SIXTEEN THOUSAND TIMES how to knit before she told me I was on my own. My Gramma Great crocheted that blanket. I come from a long line.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The 7 Meme - A tough One

Krista tagged me with this bad boy sometime last week. It's been a bit of toughie - I'd like to say this though, my list of things to do before I die is constantly changing and evolving. Every year I
knock a couple off of it and add a few more - this list is very important to me I use it as my life barometer.

The day I stop caring about the adventures I'm having and the adventures I want to be having is the day that something has gone terribly wrong and you should all rush to my side to snuggle me and inspire me.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:
- Have children
- Participate in a 7 day bike and camping trip
- Learn how to spin fibre or anything on a wheel
- Become a midwife
- Backpack South America
- Go to camping in Gros Morne National Park in Newfoundland (the only province I have not traveled)
- Become my own boss

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
- Cliffdiving….god just the thought makes my skin crawl.
- I can’t really sew. Yet.
- I cannot get over the continuing ineptitude of the US government and I can’t get over how they are still in power.
- I cannot seem to read and knit at the same time. Thank god for audiobooks.
- I can’t sit and listen to certain girlfriends with 100% of my attention because I am always thinking how much nicer it would be if they were comfortable enough to let me knit when we hung out.
- I cannot do yoga behind men who wear short shorts. I’m sorry but hairy balls ruin my zen
- I just can’t let a sleeping dog lie (literally and figuratively - I was biten twice in the face before the age of's amazing my life instinct didn't kick in sooner)

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Mate:
- His unquestioning self knowledge and self confidence
- His gentleness
- The sheer breadth and scope of his passion for all things comedy.
- His ability to chill me out when I get spun without making me feel like a child
- The perspective he brings to my world
- His introvertedness which has helped me find confidence and comfort in my own quiet moments
- His gargantuan feet. Yeah, that’s right I said it.

Seven Books I Love – in no particular order:
- The Princess Bride, William Goldman
- One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
- Whale Music, Paul Quarrington
- The Hobbit, JR Tolkien
- The Collected Works of Billy the Kidd, Michael Ondaatje.

Note: I read this in university while sitting in my bedroom on a cold sunny winter afternoon in Montreal while listening to the Ghost of Tom Joad by Bruce Springsteen with a hot cup of tea. A perfect moment in and of itself but for some reason I knew it was a rare moment to have and to recognize. This tangent has been brought to you by Jen’s favorite memories.

- Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live – I couldn’t put it down
- Foucault's Penduluum, Umberto Eco

Seven Things I Say:
- “Ride the horse or shoot it.” In reference to owning the personal responsibility to enjoy your own life. It’s no one else’s job.
- “Buck up.”
- “Dude, you just blew my mind”
- “I’m on it like a fat kid on a smartie or a smart kid on a fattie.”
- “If you hurt [enter person’s name who I love] I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU.”
- “Let’s kick it" - “I am digging it like an old soul record” song by Me'Shell Ndegeocello

Seven Movies I've Loved:
- The Princess Bride
- Kill Bill Vol. 2
- Broadcast News
- Wallace & Grommit – Curse of the Wererabbit
- Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
- Run Lola Run (Best soundtrack. Ever.)

Bitches that I'm going to tag:

Aviva, Sophia, Sandy, Erin, Denny(sp?), Kelly, Jill, Amy

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Preteen Tomfoolery

Thanks to the sherpa for the heads up. Go nerd out here!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Knitting Olympics

So I finished my Canada Socks on the day of the closing ceremonies. I grossly underestimated myself - not only did I finish the socks but I finished the June Bug for my beautiful friend Max and I made a substantial dent in two different shawls.

Next time I shall be true to myself and go the route of Laura, Megan, Jean-Anne, Wannietta, Sophia and THOUSANDS OF OTHER KNITTERS by actually picking something that I think is impossible to finish - then finish it.

This movement (event doesn't quite describe the size of it) was pretty amazing. What happens when you find something to unite OCD knitters? This. You should link through the post.

The closing ceremonies of the Olympics were a hoot. I have some pictures but they aren't where I am typing right now. You can see some great pictures here, here, here and here.

I had a great time organizing the Team Canada drinking/knitting events. What an absolute pleasure it's been to be a part of this party. Congratulations to all and I hope to see you on the reunion tour.