I was out for brunch last weekend with two of my oldest girlfriends. I lived with both of them for over two years each at different times in my life and they had gone to high school together. These two women have seen me date *a lot of men* . Good men, bad toxic men, a couple of women - I took comparison shopping very seriously.
My grandmother (wife of 63 years) told me that the secret to finding the right PIC (Partner In Crime) was to kiss as many as possible. Who was I to argue?
After moving to Toronto in my twenties I met the second in a series of I think SIX MEN NAMED CHRIS. It just happened that way. The last was a buddhist in Halifax (where I moved to escape Chris #2) and the first was a programmer I dated in the office.
The subject of weight came up over a caesar after a gym date and how I've finally lost the 10 lbs that I've been gunning towards for close to 10 months now.
One of my girlfriends, a fiery urban copywriter, said something along the lines of...well you look better with the 30 lbs than you did while you were dating Chris #2 in the late nineties. We call those years, the years of scrawn. The ironic thing is that Chris #2's only life goal at that time was to party all the time and to become the first obese vegetarian. Man, that dude could put back the tofukey. It was gross.
We came up with the theory of the Power of the Fat. This was when Ally McSqueal and the Practise was on tv. The theory stood simply with the logic that people need a bit of chub in order to kick ass. Ass at the time being, bad tv court cases, bad press and bad boyfriends. Scrawny chicks just wouldn't cut the mustard when things got tough. This is why Ally McSqueal was always whining and Lara Flynn Boyle (the prosecutor on the Practice) couldn't win a case.
All this to say, that I never saw myself as skinny at the time but I was so busy getting jerked around by this guy I didn't know where up was. Apparently, this is a fairly normal reaction to bad relationships and as such my girls were prepping for an intervention.
Sure I'm 20 lbs heavier but I've never been happier - my breasts are spectacular, I've discovered the joys of knitting and the community that surrounds it, I've met my Partner In Crime (PIC), I've rediscovered writing and have never been more happy or comfortable with my body and self image.