Friday, December 16, 2005

An open letter to the families

Dear Dad, Ma in Law, Siblings and friends ;

In a poorly worded entry two days ago I wrote about the definitive canadian boy making a date with another woman to go make out in the parking lot of an unspecified Tim Horton's.

This was not the man I married but the ex boyfriend of an unnamed friend of mine. There is no way the Man Boy we all know and love would do such a crazy thing for the following reasons:

a) He really digs me like an ol' soul record.
b) He prefers the hot chocolate from Second Cup with whipped cream
c) He hates the cold
d) He doesn't have access to a car.
e) I would rip his heart out of it's cavity and pull it out of his ass with my bare hand (sorry J but we both know I don't deal with rage well) and then I would let loose a stream of mockery so severe that he would develop a bad case of anorexia.

Now you should all realize that no hearts were broken in the revelation of this situation in fact I do believe that I and every woman I know have dated someone of this calibre and there is a time and a place for groping in the parking lot of Timmy Ho's. When you live at home in grade 10.

My girlfriend is a brilliant, classy, creative, ambitious woman who has since evolved to a maturity that often times is revolted by my...well, my turn of phrase and juvenile sense of humour. I love her for sharing this with me as it could possibly be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

No hearts nor animals were harmed in the making of this post.



The Man Boy said...

Yeah, so the death threats and threats of plain old bodily harm can stop now people!

Anonymous said...

Let's be honest here. If the right boy is asking and no one's heart or heart cavity were getting hurt we'd ALL take up an offer to make out in the Tim Horton's parking lot.
Yes, I am an advocate of bringing back the inappropriate grope session.

Kelly said...

I could seriously do with an inappropriate grope session right about now.

Anyway, like I said earlier, Im glad to hear things are healthy in Jen-land. See you Wednesday!