Thursday, June 16, 2005

It's a double header

So the neighborhood that I live in can sometimes be dodgy and there are a couple of houses up the street that the dodginess is actively displayed to the world.

To my PIC's great delight last Saturday as he was walking by they had some garbage that didn't get picked up and it was a huge COCK in a bucket. A big ol' dildo. We assumed that the second they realized that their COCK didn't get picked up that they would discretely bring 'er inside.

Today the PIC calls me at 7:50 am (ONE WEEK LATER) and in a hushed tone says..."The cock is still there only it's not in the bucket anymore...it's lying on the concrete beside the sidewalk - IT'S ONE OF THOSE HUGE DOUBLEHEADERS!"

So I grab my camera and head out the door to document the sex lives of my neighbours and I CANNOT FIND IT. I am walking so slowly and searching searching for the goods that a construction worker asked if I had lost anything.

I get on the streetcar and immediately call my PIC leaving a 'discrete' message along the lines of: 'I'm not sure the location of the statue on our street - call me and I'll get the picture' Once again: Discretion. Not my forte.

This is the email conversation that follows.

PIC: Your phone message this morning was very funny.

Me: i was trying to be cryptic because i was on the streetcar.

PIC: Jennifer Hendriks being discrete? What on God's green earth is going on. What next Jason Gemmill throwing a bucket of mud on the kitchen floor? Is the Sledgehammer dead?

The dildo, or fuck-stick, to use it's correct name is on the sidewalk between the funny thin house and the house with fenced in concrete front yard.

I love that FUCK STICK was used in my first emails of my day. That and the office just installed a new spam filter so the awkward Asian network administrator had to forward this email to me.

It's not even 10:00 am

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