Friday, April 29, 2005

Two of my favourite things

Well, Hitchhiker is coming out tonight!! WHHHEEEEE! I was feeling trepidatious at the mind boggling potential for blasphemy but the UK critics are creaming themselves over it. Zut alors! We may have a winner!

Is it wrong to be so incredibly excited to see the Infinite Improbability Drive scene with the wool? Is it? Because call me wrong but just the thought makes me quiver.

Adams' collected works have been through my family like the stomach flu. We've passed them to each other, to close friends and boyfriends. My mother loves Adams to the point that while in the UK visiting friends she stalked him on his book tour for Last Chance to See to get a signed copy which is *not to be borrowed under any circumstances* - we are allowed to read the unsigned paperback only and should feel lucky for the privilege.

Bring on the Sledge!

Why you should ALWAYS tell me that you're trying to set up a girlfriend with a boy at the table:

1. Because I will interpret your introduction of conversation topics that interest both of the romance victims loudly and obnoxiously at the table to the whole room
"Oh for heaven's sake HOW ARE THE TWO OF YOU NOT DATING?!?!?!"

2. Subtlety is my enemy we do not understand each other so if you stare pointedly at me for any amount of time I will pick up a kleenex to find the offending bat in my cave.

3. I hate being set up and 99% of the world's single population resents it when people try and set them up at a social function in public when everyone around them knows what is happening THUS I NEVER EXPECT TO SEE IT DONE. Why the fuck would you it would seem to me to be the death knell of what romantic interest might happen organically.

4. I am the Sledge. I will say anything and oft times it comes out brutally - I mean no harm. It's my nature. Kind of like Thor's hammer - the opinion just comes out. As a result any friends that still love me after 5 years are my friends for life and I will cut anyone that says anything bad about them.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

petty request for an extra 3 hours per day please.

Sweet Jebus...I can't keep up with the days right now.

Last Sunday I spent the morning at the second book binding class at Lettuce Knit with the Craft Mistress herself. Emma was a delightful instructor and so obscenely patient. Lettuce Knit seems to be my black hole - I walk in and it sucks anything that isn't attached to myself off for me to forget.

I met some of my supreme girlies and my PIC for brunch and had to go back for some more sock needles to discover all of my paper for my book were left behind. How's that for luck! Picture of my beautiful felted book to follow soon.

This week has blown by to the point that I haven't even had time to update mysensitivegirlhole! Lisa the most patient of blogmistresses has been waiting for me to upload the image of the Toronto Knitters webring. If I'd been home for more than 4 hours this week I would have figured it out...

Sigh. I'm having too hard a time keeping up with the days.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Happy Earth Day!

My office participated in Earth Day 2005 by cleaning up the ravine behind the office. While picking up the gitch, condoms and needles in the ravine I thought about how funny it is that as a kid we used to have a spring clean up day in the school yard.

I found a pair of gitch! Posted by Hello

Nice that as a full time employee I'm reliving Grade One experiences....good times!

This morning's music was The Postal Service - Give Up if you don't own this cd yet you should.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I just can't get enough

Why hello delightful new hand bag that fits a ball of opal yarn PERFECTLY!!!

Coming back to the fold in a big way Posted by Hello

The piece of wood next to the purse is going to be the spine in my book binding class that I'm taking at Lettuce Knit. I'm very excited this is going to be a thank you gift for my aunt and god mother who is holding a bridal shower for me.

This woman has been an artist all of her life and has probably been the major force that has inspiree my creative self to try anything and everything. She's an amazing woman.

Since my class at Lettuce Knit I've become reinspired and as a result have started and it would appear almost finished my new attempt at a cardigan. The Biggy Print I bought on eBay for less than half price per skein!!! Seriously, I almost peed my pants when I one the auction. The only problem is that it knits up so fast I'm procrastinating just to enjoy the yarn a little bit longer.

Biggy Print Cardigan Posted by Hello

Spring is the season for finishing projects - it tends to happen that I start a lot of different crafts and then finish them in the spring.

I will be making a path of these for my wedding at the cottage - we have too many friends and family that are making the wedding day possible and these would make great thank you gifts. Besides I LOVE PLAYING IN CONCRETE!!

mmm...concrete Posted by Hello

This is my original craftwork - cross stitch. I usually do 3-4 pieces a year still but only when my knitting has tortured me to the point when I need to have some quiet time.

so fine! Posted by Hello

My PIC is a tidy tidy man whereas I tend to leave "trails" where ever I go. As a result he buys me kits and chests and vases for me to store needles, crotchet hooks and yarn. This is my designated knitting and craft station as gently encouraged by my PIC. He actually keeps his eyes and ears open for new ways to contain circular needles and the like.

Although he still can't understand how I can spend inside of 10 minutes collecting all the implements I might need if I finish a project outside of the house but it takes me 25 minutes to find my wallet and or my glasses.

my knitting corner as supplied by PIC Posted by Hello

Man's propensity for retardation

I don't understand this. Help me.

Is lying in the road the best way to get attention or run over? So confused.

Morning Walk

I picked up a bunch of new cd's last night - Kathleen Edwards, Back to me being one of them. Being a bit of a slow learner I'd heard her name a pile of times in reference to Failer which I still haven't picked up (bad Canadian!)

What a great album to wake up to: beautiful songwriting, this girl has pipes and her band is clean and tight. Very enjoyable.

The bonus was I consciously caught the trees in that moment between grey brown budding and full on leafy. I seem to always miss that moment of pre-greenery. This stage of spring makes me think of concentrating on being in the moment more than any other pre season.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Just what we need, more conservatives...

I find it shocking that the Catholic Church is so very committed to doing its congregation harm. Catholics in Latin America, North America and Africa continue to have to choose between their own health and welfare and following the no dome rule.

"As head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Ratzinger disciplined clerics and theologians who questioned John Paul's teachings on subjects ranging from the ban on artificial contraception to the need for celibacy in the clergy. Over the past two years, Ratzinger also issued a number of controversial documents and statements, among them a letter decrying radical feminism, and in an interview opposed the proposed membership of Turkey -- a predominantly Muslim nation -- in the European Union"

Am very upset by this was huge opportunity to let the church grow and they decided to keep it in the dark ages of exclusion and ignorance. Fuckwits.

Morning Music

1. Meh : Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care.
A: What do you want for dinner?
B: Meh.

Paul Simon - Graceland, sure it's a "must have" album and I haven't listened to it in years but well...meh. It didn't inspire any sense of carpe diem on the walk this morning. Of course, I'm feeling pretty 'meh' about being out of bed so it's probably not the album, it's me.

Sounds like a familiar break up.

Live and learn.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Red Dirt Girl

The morning walk to work CD - Red Dirt Girl, Emmylou Harris. This woman is nothing short of genius. I always forget that she is not new to music at all but has been around for going on 30 years.

One of the best cd's to listen to on the way to cubicle world. Made me long for the days of tree planting up north of Lake Superior where life isn't simpler just more tangible. The stories on this cd made me think of my hometown and the folk living there. Beautiful people that would give you anything you needed to get by the tough times.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Oh the judgement....

Posted by Hello

Today was an adventure and Smudge disapproves due to yet some more incoming yarn that he is not allowed to toy with.

I had my first bookbinding class at Lettuce Knit taught by Emma Jane - am inspired by both new craft and by the Twisted Sisters' sock bible. Pictures to follow later in the week.

I'd been feeling put out by the knit and specifically my challenges with sleeves...I just finished yet another sweater in Alapaca del Uruguay from Lettuce Knit and the damned sleeves were a record 1.5 FEET TOO LONG. Since my arms are actually my achilles heel. I've abandoned the upper body to enjoy the lower foot segment of the body

The true joy of the entire day is the new Matt 'n Nat purse I picked up - it's so cute AND it's the perfect carrying case for my sock project or any other such portable joy.


Saturday, April 16, 2005

I don't think I'd blow over...I'm just sayin' you should drive is all...

Over the weekend my PIC and I bottled the 4 batches of wine we had made for the wedding. There was more wine than I think I have ever seen!

This is how you disinfect the bottles so that Bacchus doesn't get angered by germies:

Nothing says wedding like too much to drink! Posted by Hello

After all the bottles had been cleaned we got to fill got less and less exciting after the first 12 bottles.

I thought we'd have to fill the bottles with a funnel! God bless technology - that's Jay paying close attention Posted by Hello

This is the red wine - there is an equal amount of white...Shockingly it tasted good. A relief even though 90% of the folk at our wedding will drink anything outside of scope.

This less than half of what we finished.... Posted by Hello

I drank two glasses of this bad boy young and it didn't taste bad at all - although my prior consumption of only 1 cup of coffee led to the statement as I walked into Fermentations to carry another case out to the car.

The owner was impressed I'm sure.

I drank 2 glasses of the red.... Posted by Hello

This might have been the reason from my lovely friend Aviva to be a little nervous as I held the beautific baby Max at the same time as stuffing my face with the divine vegan fudge cake at Fresh

Friday, April 15, 2005

Ann Coulter's defining moment of retardation

It's moments like this that make me think there is a god and that one day Coulter will fade into the sunset of barely mediocre journalist. God bless Bob McKeown.

Luke's gonna get Poon Tang!

While out for a walk with my friend Jeff the following discussion took place:

Me: So if Phantom Menace is about Annikan Skywalker and Attack of the Clones is about the transformation to Darth Vader...when does Luke transform into a man and find love? As far as I know the only person that he had a crush on was Leia....what a drag. Poor Luke

Jeff: Well that's what the 7th movie is going to be about, Luke getting tons of poontang.

tons of poontang. that makes me laugh


Was the CD of the day on my way to work. I just found out that they are finally going to put out their second album in July - that's not even the best part - produced by Tore Johansson (of Franz Ferdinand and The Cardigans fame)

Favourite song - 1000 miles per hour

Over and Out

Thursday, April 14, 2005

When there's nothing left to have to set yourself on fire.

This is the best opening line I've ever heard on a CD it's on The Stars-Set Yourself on Fire.

I am constantly going through an "I love Canadiana" phase but finding the true challenge is to find it. Canadians as a rule don't much celebrate our own bad selves.

CBC Radio 3 was the best resource to help me find and love Canadian music, art and writing. Alas and alack, it has recently been retired for a face lift. It was my personal Canadian pop web love hole for the past year. Feist, Broken Social Scene, The Stars, The Pink Mountaintops and Arcade Fire and more all found there.

As a self diagnosed ADD patient, CBC Radio 3 hooked me up without me having to read through all the indie magazines or dealing with indie store clerks - and the site was visually DREAMY. I miss it.

On a completely unrelated note: While driving my mother to the airport I went on a bit of a deranged diatribe (induced by low blood sugar impatience) about the volume of information we're getting force fed about Michael Jackson

My mom had this to say about Jackson, "That man is a cripple. Not physical but there is something wounded in him that cannot be fixed." This coming from a woman with a sixth sense about people, one leg and a wicked ass sense of humour. I think that she meant that's he's broken, missing something vital that makes us all understand basic right and wrong

I think she's right and it certainly made me think of Jacko in a different seems to me we're at a circus and the media are the ring masters...hmm.

Of course, this is a woman who also told me that I originally had 4 other siblings but they got car sick so mom and dad had to trade them in for a faux wood panelled station wagon to travel Canada in.

Don't let the smooching fool you this sense of humour is kookerific Posted by Hello

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Can you hear the ticking of the clock that is evolution?

It's stories like this that make me wonder if the end of the human race won't be because of some administrative schlep's fuck up.


It sends shivers up my spine the collections of plague and disease that pharmaceuticals have in storage and the fact that this shit gets mailed to different labs around the world makes me wonder if we shouldn't be more afraid of pharmaceuticals than Iraq.

April is employee satisfaction month.

I just got a raise! Youpee happy day.

The awkward moment came when my boss (a very upright man) came by to give me the envelope with the good news I was engrossed in this demonstration of yarn obsession which I check regularly for stories and the like.


Nothing says dignity like fumbling with the keyboard trying to get someone else's blog off the monitor before one's boss registers it as non work related...I wonder what the manouevres would be called..

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Zut Alors!!

J''aime la Quebec! My PIC and sister Charlotte spent the weekend in Montreal celebrating the youngest sibling's quarter century. I spent 4 years in Montreal 'studying' at McGill. This city was the site of far too much debauchery.

My top ten favourite moments in Montreal:

1. Celebrated Liz's BDay in Montreal fashion, bring your own wine and beer restaurants and 4:00am home arrival.

2. Went to the first Sunday Tam Tam's of the year. 200 people collected on Mont Royal to make music and enjoy the sun. This was the only event that made me want to move back to the

The three sisters at Mont Royal Posted by Hello

3. The divine Empanadas at Marie-Anne and St. Urbain. These are the best empanadas in Montreal...having said that this restaurant is right around the corner from my university apt. why go anywhere else?

Best Empanadas in Montreal - on Marie - Anne and St. Urbain Posted by Hello

4. Jason's realization that we will never travel anywhere that does not have ample food and drink for me to organize an entire tour around.

5. Charlotte referring to an old family friend by the wrong name ALL NIGHT only to find out late the next day that she had it wrong...

6. Finishing my very first pair of socks - Paton's Kroy Self Striping - Personally I think the nipple at the end of the toes where I cast off incorrectly is what really makes them funkarific!

My first socks ever!!! Posted by Hello

7. The new toys being marketed to PQ kids at the roadside attractions. Does this not actually look like a screaming Winnie the Pooh is being eaten by a penguin??

Scream Winnie scream! Posted by Hello

8. Jazz at the Cafe Sarajevo is like stepping back in time where having air blue with smoke isn't gross and you just know that once the bar closes down the jazz greats get together here to jam.

9 Dinner at Santropol healthy humongus and whole lot of different fare from what you find in Toronto.

10. This kid at the Tam Tam's learning his first beats. Am digging the mohawk

Kid's gotta start some time! Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Ode To Jan

Jan - Hot, Funny, Independant, Magical Posted by Hello

Jan Caruana is *it* when it comes to comedy in Toronto. This woman is indie, she's a knitter and sweet baby jesus she's a good but rare smoocher. She also wrote the song called "My Sensitive Girl Hole" Making me laugh so hard I spit the pringles on the audience in front of me.

She is a dreamboat

Co-creator of my blog name and genius comedian

My Partner in Crime. Love of My Life. Keeper of the Nostril Posted by Hello

I met my PIC performing improv comedy. At the time I thought that with a few of my patented Jen flirty moves I would make him less shy off the stage. Little did I know that this man would expand my horizons, ground my soul and make me snort with laughter every day.

We now live together and are embarking on the adventure that is getting hitched. I feel that if we can make it through planning then we can make it through anything.

He sent this picture to me before we started makin' out while I was working the late shift one night. HOT!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

oh my aching ovaries...

I'm reading through Special Knits by Debbie Bliss and not only are the patterns to die for but so are the tiny models.

Those of you who know me know that I've been snoozing my biological alarm clock for going on 2 years now. This sort of a publication does NOTHING for my great liberal intentions of planned parenthood!

I'm almost done knitting my paton's kroy socks and would LOVE to post a picture but the skillset needed still eludes me. My Rowan Biggy Print cardi is coming along nicely but it's such a fast knit I'm procrastinating so that I can prolong the joy of knitting with this stuff. God bless ebay where I could buy it for less than half what it cost at Romni Wool or Lettuce Knit.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Hot Hot Brains

Carol Kolf, Editor, The Onion

Jon Stewart

Amy Sedaris

Stab my own eyes out

I'm so sick of reality television and pop stars. This is the sign that mainstream television is determined to turn north american consumers into the human equivalent of green jello as if we needed another sign. Did anyone else see fox news interviewing the 'psychic' from crossing over about Terry Schiavo?

Britney Spears and what's his f*** are documenting their *love* in a reality show. Thanks to Pesky Apostrophe.

Seriously, is no one else out there worried about the sheer amount of spam being poured down our throats through the major networks? It makes me want to make dirty analogies about swallowing when you shouldn't.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Inspiration du jour

I should give full credit where credit is due. The name of my blog is based on the song of the same name written by my PIC and his best friend Jan. They belong to the Toronto sketch troupe Unckey Darryl's House of Sketchola and they make me laugh hard and loud.

If I could damn well figure out how to upload pictures I'd be plastering both of these folk all over this post....

grrr...must go enjoy daily show in frustration.

Sprunging Spring?

Word on the street is that spring has sprung. I've fallen for this ruse before and am reluctant to put both my heart and my psyche in the hands of that fickle wench Mother Nature.

I look longingly at the blue sky from my cubicle and wonder how long it will last.

It was hard not to imagine that the fine sun was here to stay as I walked to work along the Bloor Viaduct.

A great way to start an otherwise uninspiring morning in the cube.

I'm sure Gaia doesn't hate Canadians enough to bring more snow...does she?

Sunday, April 03, 2005