Friday, December 30, 2005

Let the 2006 fun begin!!

In the last 4 weeks of 2005 I finished up my first pair of mittens and a toque! All the dirty deets can be ready here. Suffice to say these mittens really are the best thing in minus 0 degree weather. Soft and beautiful.

A gaggle of Socks finished on Boxing Day and ready to hit the mail today. I'm pretty sure they won't fit now that Christmas is done but they'll make spectacular handpuppets one day....

By the time Christmas Day came along I was dying to be knitting something that didn't involve feet or fitting someone else. Keeping in line with with my new year goal of making a sweater with sleeves that fit I have finished the back and half of the front of my Klaralund sweater in Noro. Man that stuff is dreamy although the mysterious stripe of pink at the bottom of the picture has me puzzled.

And got halfway through one pattern of my first intarsia work. Dear lord I don't know if I could love any baby enough to do this again - it's like weightlifting for the fingers...we'll see if it gets done for March. I'm loving the newness of it all right now but I think we know that by the last pattern of the blanket the speed with which I knit and the speed that time passes will be completely out of whack. It's pretty fun right now though.


A couple of friends are coming over for board games and booze tonight. Between the knitting and the board game fascination have I completely lost my hard living edge?

Tune in New Years Eve to find out!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Top 5 Knitterly Moments of 2005

As a prelude to the photo essay entitled "What I got done in the last 3 weeks of 2005" to be posted tonight here are my top five knitting moments from this year brought to you by the letter Zed.

New technique(s): Magic Loop, Felting, knitting on dpns (is that a technique?), Thrumming, drop spindle spinning

Favorite finished object: Thrummed Mittens (Fleece Artist - picture tonight)

Favorite knit-along: I'm kind of doing the Stashbusters and the Keplar but got distracted by Xmas knitting

Favorite shop: Lettuce Knit - and here's why. The Ladies of the Yarn here are spectacularly friendly and helpful. Megan evan gave me my intro to spinning lesson and Meagan and Laura can help you with *anything* knitterly.

Favorite tool: I'm not so uptight about the needles. I dig on anything with a point although I've been really enjoying not having to warm up wooden needles like I have to do for the metal ones.

Resolutions for 2006 - I've been thinking on this for a few weeks now as I tend to take resolutions a little too seriously.

- Knit a sweater *with* sleeves. I started the Klaralund when we were in the Ottawa Valley over Christmas. I feel hopeful that it is not going to turn out to be a garment made for someone 10 months overdue. Thanks to the Silent K for the heads up on the pattern.

- Learn more colour work techniques. I'm well into an intarsia baby blanket for a kid coming out the pipes in March - this MAY be enough time to finish the blanket...I'm not sure though my hands hurt at the end of two hours of knitting (picture tonight)

- Increase the hand knit sock quotient in my house for both me and J

- Improve the spinning so that the homespun is less....uneven.

- Knit a lace shawl. Specifically this one that my most awesome Secret Pal Heather hooked me up with. I'm currently practicing the pattern in Red Heart as I'm pretty sure trying it on lace weight merino first will make me want to stab my own eyes out in frustration.

I think that's it for me. Doable resolutions that allow space for distraction. Very excited about the new year.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

No matter what god/ess you dig on...if at all

I hope that you were surrounded by loved ones, food and wine throughout December. These are my siblings together and loving it. Doesn't happen so often nowadays so when it does 4:00am comes quickly. I love these guys.

Jason and I have been in the Ottawa Valley for the past few days enjoying his family and their beautiful cabin. Fresh air is spectacular and so was the tobagganing...here's a teaser picture. I also knit compulsively and his mother took me on a yarn crawl. More on knitterly adventures tomorrow.

In the meantime here's J with our friend the Inukshuk at his parent's cabin. We wanted to tell everyone that it was a good spot to stop for a glass of wine.

J and I celebrate the delicate art of Christmas here in the Hendriks/Gemmill loveshack. This year we were on a "budget" and he still blew me out of the water. I didn't even know that some of this awesomeness existed.


My head explodes a little just looking at this picture. Here you see Marvin and Arthur Dent from the best scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - you know the one where the improbability drive turns the galaxy to yarn. THERE ARE TOYS FROM THAT SCENE! Be still my nerdy heart.

Speaking of hearts - do you see that drop spindle? It's a hand made from Steve at Kundert Wheels. How awesome a gift is that?! The next knit related gift is a recipe book for hand knit toys from which J has requested Squarey. I cannot wait to start on it for him.

All in all, if these four gifts where all I got for Xmas my head would still be exploded all over the wall but my brother got me all sorts of knit facilitating goodness as did my kniterific Mother in Law THANK YOU DEBBIE AND DAN.

Monday, December 19, 2005

War! On! Christmas!

It seems to me that there is a whole lot of anger at the way people are choosing to celebrate their personal holidays (the last before Easter - crap does that mean we'll have a War! on! Easter! too?).

Discourse involving threats of personal injury. Ridiculous. I thought religious freedom was one of the tag lines for why folks should immigrate to America and Canada...

When you get tired of the toxic debate come and join me in my santarchy - it's way more fun. I'm becoming a Santarchist so lock your door, hide your yarn and put away the Scotch - I'm giving the War! on! Christmas! the bird.

Updated: Apparently the media blew the Santarchy event all out of proportion - Check this out for some more meaningful reasons for debauchery...fun. Thanks for the website Joyce!

Friday, December 16, 2005

An open letter to the families

Dear Dad, Ma in Law, Siblings and friends ;

In a poorly worded entry two days ago I wrote about the definitive canadian boy making a date with another woman to go make out in the parking lot of an unspecified Tim Horton's.

This was not the man I married but the ex boyfriend of an unnamed friend of mine. There is no way the Man Boy we all know and love would do such a crazy thing for the following reasons:

a) He really digs me like an ol' soul record.
b) He prefers the hot chocolate from Second Cup with whipped cream
c) He hates the cold
d) He doesn't have access to a car.
e) I would rip his heart out of it's cavity and pull it out of his ass with my bare hand (sorry J but we both know I don't deal with rage well) and then I would let loose a stream of mockery so severe that he would develop a bad case of anorexia.

Now you should all realize that no hearts were broken in the revelation of this situation in fact I do believe that I and every woman I know have dated someone of this calibre and there is a time and a place for groping in the parking lot of Timmy Ho's. When you live at home in grade 10.

My girlfriend is a brilliant, classy, creative, ambitious woman who has since evolved to a maturity that often times is revolted by my...well, my turn of phrase and juvenile sense of humour. I love her for sharing this with me as it could possibly be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

No hearts nor animals were harmed in the making of this post.

Jen

Friday Random Ten

The Post Storm Calm Edition

1. Taj Mahal: She Caught the Katy and Left Me a Mule to Ride; Martin Scorese Presents...
2. Johnny Cash: Cocaine Blues; At Folsom Prison
3. Emmylou Harris: Michelangelo; Red Dirt Girl
4. Saint Etienne: Downey, CA; Sound of Water
5. Johnny Cash: Send A Picture of Mother; At Folsom Prison
6. The Bravery: Fearless; The Bravery
7. The Coctails: First Snowfall; A John Waters Christmas
8. Morcheeba: Coming Down Gently; Fragments of Freedom
9. Feist: Mushaboom; Let it Die
10. They Might Be Giants: Disappointing Show; They Got Lost

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I love blizzards

I realize that some of my love of snow storms is the anticipation of a snow day.

Yesterday my dear friend Marta arrived from Poland, and she thought we lived in a country with hot water ! HAH! Luckily she had the grace not lose her 10 hours travelled mind when I said that she couldn't have a shower until Thursday night. We love the zen of Marta.

When she walked through my front door she was greeted by the exact same scene as the last time we hung out. Bottles of wine, Miss Vickies, pizza and these characters:

Meet Carolyn (top), Melissa(bottom left) and Marta(bottom right) eleven years later and still just as debauched and insane. My manboy walked into the apartment after driving 3.5 hours from Ottawa and his head nearly exploded.

My darling Marta has a distinct lack of gristle on her bones so I wrapped her in my Alpaca shawl, put some hand knit socks on her feet and fed her chips. We headed out to the Phoenix to watch a spectacular all Canadian line up.

Actually we had all gone out to see Sarah Harmer 9 years ago when she was in the band Weeping Tile. I cracked out the album Cold Snap when we got home - it passed the test of time. About halfway through the Hip's set Marta's 10 hr journey and consequent jet lag smacked her in the ass so we headed out.

Not before I got a picture of my rocker posse in action. Seriously, these women have not aged a bit it's a bit frightening.

On our way out we bumped into Joe whose name took a vacation from my brain at the time. Hi Joe!

It was a great concert to go to with some great broads...man it's nice to have women like these in one's life. More shenanigans to come. Cross your fingers that work shuts down on Friday!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

You know he's a hoser when

you find his emails with another woman making dates TO GO GROPE IN THE TIM HORTON'S PARKING LOT.

You know it's Christmas when

you have loved ones coming to visit from POLAND. Marta comes tonight. I'm so excited to see my university roommate I could just explode! Which is what my hot water heater did yesterday.

I finally had to go to the gym to have a shower this morning - alas the gym can't help with the dishes from Christmas baking and the showers for guests.

Enbridge is supposed to come this afternoon to "assess" the damage and they aim to replace the heater tomorrow morning. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

So my thrummed mittens should be done by the time the second class rolls around. I'm so excited to have a) a pair of mittens since clearly I lost them all last winter and b) a pair of mittens that I made to fit my freakishly small hands!!

Pictures soon - I'm sure I'll be able to make up the distraction time on the Christmas knitting on Thursday.

Monday, December 12, 2005

She's a thrummer alright...

This weekend I went to the first of two of my "learn to thrum" classes at Lettuce Knit. It is the coolest way to make the warmest mittens ever and I'M IN LOVE WITH FLEECE. A photo essay:

My most dramatic cousin Maggie actually sat down for TEN MINUTES to help me wind my ball of Fleece Artist aran wool so that I could get the cuff of the mitten done before class - what a hero!!
The first lesson in thrumming is how to strip the fleece into smaller bundles of fibre then to use these to make the thrums. Thrums are what Krispy Kreme try to imitate with donuts - light fluffy luxurious rounds - see them next to my coffee?
I love them.

Then when you start to knit the thrums into your mitten you have an awkward thrum sausage for the first while - once you get past the thumb gusset you end up with the most beautiful, soft thrum sausage EVER.

And yes it is as warm and delightfully soft as it looks! So dreamy.

Onto the other spectacular part of my day (I've been thrumming at work :c) When I got home there was a GINORMOUS package at the door. Being Christmas and all I'm fairly careful that I not get a sneak preview of xmas gifts from my Manboy but when I looked at the box I realized it came from my already perfect Secret Pal.

Check out her blog she's been doing some wicked ass stuff in Mexico and it's her birthday today!

Heather clearly reads minds because when I was in Lettuce Knit on Sunday I was looking for exactly the pattern that she sent me in this package. It's obscenely spoily. That's right - the Leaf Lace Shawl by Fibretrends and enough Merino Lace weight TO KNIT IT OVER CHRISTMAS.

You can also see a dragon fly embroidery pattern, a needle case and the most perfect "works in progress basket" I've ever seen. What you can't see is a case to put my beautiful jeweled stitchmarkers in and a copy of At Knit's End.

The basket is already filling with my wips. It was my first Secret Pal cycle and while I sent a beautiful package and a subscription, Heather really set the bar high AND SHE GOT DISSED by her secret pal...BOO TO SLACKERS.

You know you have a problem when:

My PIC was a bit concerned when I told him I was thrumming (more on this later) under my desk while watching my computer think at work. He rewrote an AA quiz for my benefit/information. I embrace it and I suspect at least 75% of the knitters I know embrace it too....

1 - Have you ever decided to stop knitting for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?

Once but I got so tense and angry I started a sock to save my marriage.

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your knitting-- stop telling you what to do?

I don't see what's wrong with knitting a couple of rows on the TTC while waiting for a train or if I decide to fold in a poker hand...I could knit a whole pair of socks if I used all of these wasted minutes to knit...

3 - Have you ever switched from one project to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting bored?

What's your point? Two pairs of socks, a pair of thrummed mittens, flower basket shawl, sweater and a baby blanket keeps me from getting carpal tunnel syndrome

4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon a wild night of knitting during the past year?

If by eye opener you mean...I learned how to spin fleece...yes I did!

5 - Do you envy people who can knit without getting into trouble?

Are you kidding me?!?! If it wasn't for the 25 year commitment of offspring I'd be on permanent mat leave...or a kept woman to an impotent old man

6 - Have you had problems connected with knitting during the past year?

Once. But it's only because the kid silk haze wasn't ready to commit to lace yet. No one likes to be rushed and once we talked it through...our relationship was stronger than before the fight.

Edited to Add: I misread this question the first time to read "Have you had problems connecTING with knitting during the past year?" does that misunderstanding count?

7 - Has your knitting caused trouble at home?

ummm...no?

8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" projects at a knit gathering because you do not get enough?

Well, I do like to bring a number of different projects to the Stitch and Bitches mostly as a boredom prevention. If a cashmere skein or two happen to get thrown in the mix then I graciously accept defeat.

9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop knitting any time you want to, even though you keep getting buying more wool when you don't mean to?

Why would I want to stop.

10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of knitting?

Um...no..

11 - Do you have "blackouts"?

Please see #6

12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not knit?

I've never even considered it. I lived a life without knitting and it was ok but WITH the knitting my life has gotten more full, more rich (in comfort and warmth) and MORE creative.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Yarn Ho's Unite

On Wednesday night the planets aligned and my board meeting was cancelled thus providing a window in time that I might go to this event. I was giddy to be in a room of knitters ever since my first DKC meeting I've become a stitch 'n bitch junkie.

Lady Marmalade met me after my weight watchers meeting (up 1.8 lbs by the way - Happy Holidays) and we trekked on over to the Textile Museum of Canada. It's a very sweet little museum and I recommend torontoites to go and check'er out. I found information on the Grenfell Mission work that my Newfoundland family had given my PIC and I this summer.

Stephanie read from her second book and spoke on the joy and pain of Christmas knitting which was comforting to know that I am not alone in my insanity. Afterwards we went out for a celebratory pint where the merits of knitting shahsah mirrors to gloves and mittens was discussed - leading to the obvious discussion of superhero costumes.

The nemesis: The Soul Grabber (imagine shah shah mirrors on the end of those fingers)

The Heroine: Sarcasto! (the shah shah mirrors deflect sarcasm and insults)


And of course because everyone there has deep rooted lust for cashmere - there was yarn worship:

Friday Random Ten

Friday Random Ten: The Memories of Snow Days Gone By Edition:

1. Leon Redbone: If I Could Be With You (One Hour Tonight), Whistling in the Wind
2. Rheostatics: Shaved Head, Whale Music
3. Kathleen Edwards: Somewhere Else, Back To Me
4. The Arcade Fire: In the Backseat, Funeral
5. Jane's Addiction: No One's Leaving, Ritual de lo Habitual
6. Fat Daddy: Fat Daddy, A John Water's Christmas
7. Great lake Swimmers: Long Into The Evening, Bodies and Minds
8. The Killers: All These Things That I've Done, Hot Fuss
9. The Magnetic Fields: Absolutely Cuckoo, 69 Love Songs Vol. 1
10. Les Nubians: Sourire, Princesses Nubiennes

WEEEEE HOOOOO!!!

Quick post on my way to work...

Is there anything better than waking up to this scene for the first time of the season?

Man, I just love the first snowfall of the season until this point winter is just a dry hump of a season. Wet and cold and there is no way to have fun in it until the snow comes. Also, I know that in 4 months my sense of joy and celebration will be replaced by the distinct realization THAT WINTER WILL NEVER END.

Celebrate now ye hearty Canadians!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Mistress of the Masters - Come take up your hats!

My youngest sister came to visit us on Tuesday night on her way to Montreal for a conjugal visit. Liz is doing her Masters degree in renewable natural resource management - yes she is a smarty pants and teasing her is one of my favourite things in the world

I'm amazed at what she does. She writes things like abstracts, proposals, thesis' and uses HUGE WORDS. Sometimes in the middle of an overdue abstract...she takes a nap BECAUSE HER HUGE BRAIN gets tired...

When Liz was 6 or 7 years old we moved to Northern Ontario. Living in the middle of the Canadian Shield in a small town may seem...well hellish to city folk but it affords educational luxuries that would never happen in Toronto. For instance, science in grades 1 through 8 usually involved regular ponding trips in the Spring. You can experience ponding virtually here. (you need to have Shockwave installed) While it's not nearly as fun as tromping around big puddles in rubber boots catching bugs but it gives you an idea.

Liz developed a deep and apparently lasting obsession with water, bugs and plant life and how in each pond there was an entire ecosystem. It was SO MUCH FUN TO TEASE HER. Anyway I was at the museum of Textiles last night and they have a spectacular bug exhibit on. I thought of her:

This is what the patterns and words are made of!

Cool, eh?! I'll tell y'all why I was nerding out at the Textile Museum later...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I reign semi-victorious

Hey-o! I finished three delightful love filled Christmas gifts yesterday. Yes I am breathing a little easier although I still have 4 more to go and I just realized that there's only 19 more days to go. I can't put the third pic up yet....

Because the giftee's often frequent this interweb location I will only leave teaser pics here. This was my favourite to knit - Regia 4 ply, Canadian Colours. Why Canadian colours? I have know idea although I think it's because these colors would get any winter worn Canuck through the interminable February/March desert of sun and colour.


It makes me happy just to see the colours. Are all y'all curious? Well you'll have to wait until January to see.

And here:

Don't the colours just reak of BANTAM HOCKEY? Just looking at them make me think of getting my foot caught in those damned bleacher seats in poorly heated arena's watching Tim Bits Hockey players running amok on the ice while getting coked up on Timmy Ho's Double Double...mmm good.

I'm off to this tonight and am giddy with anticipation to be in a room full of chronic, stressed out and scattered knitters. If you're not any one of these things right now then you have drugs/knitting slaves that you need to share. 'tis the season!!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Holy Shit. I forgot what today was....

Any time anyone has ever mocked or criticized the gun control laws in Canada I think of December 6th, 1989.

"The assailant used a semi-automatic military weapon, which he owned legally despite a history of antisocial behaviour. After committing suicide, he was identified only after police conducted a store-by-store search in the Montreal area to see who had recently sold the rifle, because guns were not registered except at the point of sale."

My sister is an engineer and almost all of my female role models growing up in Northern Canada were engineers, foresters or geologists. They all worked in male dominated fields. This shit freaks me out.

The women killed in Montreal were targeted by an angry angry man on the sole merit of their uteruses (uteri?) and their ambition. Now that shit is fucked up.

Take a minute today and thank god, goddess, wool whatever higher being you need to that we have gun control.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Quintessentially Canadian

Is there anything more Canadian than listening to CBC's theme song in the dark at 7:00am in the winter?

It makes me think of our kitchens in Northern BC, Northern Ontario and New Brunswick - my mom with a pot of coffee brewing and one of her girlfriends over (how early did these women wake up?!?!) as we cram breakfast in our winter exhausted faces. People talk about regionalism being the achilles heel of Canadian culture are missing out.

More music, smell induced memories to come along with (I'm sure) Christmas finished objects pictures.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Power of the Fat

I was out for brunch last weekend with two of my oldest girlfriends. I lived with both of them for over two years each at different times in my life and they had gone to high school together. These two women have seen me date *a lot of men* . Good men, bad toxic men, a couple of women - I took comparison shopping very seriously.

My grandmother (wife of 63 years) told me that the secret to finding the right PIC (Partner In Crime) was to kiss as many as possible. Who was I to argue?

After moving to Toronto in my twenties I met the second in a series of I think SIX MEN NAMED CHRIS. It just happened that way. The last was a buddhist in Halifax (where I moved to escape Chris #2) and the first was a programmer I dated in the office.

The subject of weight came up over a caesar after a gym date and how I've finally lost the 10 lbs that I've been gunning towards for close to 10 months now.

One of my girlfriends, a fiery urban copywriter, said something along the lines of...well you look better with the 30 lbs than you did while you were dating Chris #2 in the late nineties. We call those years, the years of scrawn. The ironic thing is that Chris #2's only life goal at that time was to party all the time and to become the first obese vegetarian. Man, that dude could put back the tofukey. It was gross.

We came up with the theory of the Power of the Fat. This was when Ally McSqueal and the Practise was on tv. The theory stood simply with the logic that people need a bit of chub in order to kick ass. Ass at the time being, bad tv court cases, bad press and bad boyfriends. Scrawny chicks just wouldn't cut the mustard when things got tough. This is why Ally McSqueal was always whining and Lara Flynn Boyle (the prosecutor on the Practice) couldn't win a case.

All this to say, that I never saw myself as skinny at the time but I was so busy getting jerked around by this guy I didn't know where up was. Apparently, this is a fairly normal reaction to bad relationships and as such my girls were prepping for an intervention.

Sure I'm 20 lbs heavier but I've never been happier - my breasts are spectacular, I've discovered the joys of knitting and the community that surrounds it, I've met my Partner In Crime (PIC), I've rediscovered writing and have never been more happy or comfortable with my body and self image.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Best morning voice to date

Leon Redbone. Milky goodness.

When you combine Leon with Zooey "Hotness" Deschanel singing Baby It's Cold Outside. You have a great first song of a winter day. Yeah, I know. It's from the Elf soundtrack but MAN it makes waking up and forcing yourself to go to work on a cold day...just a little easier.

I'm still riding the warm fuzziness.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Does *anyone* out there mollygrump?

My grandmother is the definitive overly proper matriarch of my family. It wasn't until she had her first stroke (the happy stroke) that she started to embrace the unladylike personalities of her three granddaughters and her tomboy of a daughter (my mother).

The exuberance and unbridled vocal enthusiasm that my sisters, brother and I share were nurtured tenderly into us by our mother and father. This tendancy of ours often led to our banishment from my grandparent's cottage in the Muskokas due to summersaults on the furniture and general running amok. An example can be witnessed here in a picture taken at Thanksgiving 2004 when we were 25, 30, 31 and 35 years old.

In fact, I theorize that this behaviour was brought about as the definitive form of rebellion by my mother....this is just a theory though because while it's fun to smother my grandmother with enthusiastic smooches...it's even more fun to smother my mom.

In my Mimi's properness lay a refusal to recognize bodily functions of any kind. To comment upon a Fart in her presence was to horrify her.

I don't know if mom picked up the word from my Mimi or made it up because she inherited a touch of the proper herself but if we wanted to refer to the extraordinary farts my older brother would use to express his disdain for his younger sisters in the car on a winter day...we would call them MOLLYGRUMPS.

I have never in my life heard anyone ever use the term to mollygrump instead of to fart but I feel that it is most appropriate and it actually rolls of the tongue kind of nice like. If anyone can find any information on this word let me know for I feel it is but a Hendriks'ism.

So, my friends do not ask me where this stream of consciousness came from but instead ask would you rather mollygrump in an elevator at the office? or fart.

Monday, November 28, 2005

And yes, there was poutine...

So over the weekend I partook in the definitive "Thank god I have a job so I can do this" Stitch n' Bitch. At the Rosewater Supper Club. A couple of us met at my place to try stem the necessity of spending hundreds of dollars on food.

How civil eh?

We got the call from Vivienne when we were just arriving. "Jen, where are you? The CBC are here and they want to see YOU."

Clearly Vivienne forgot that as a comedian, there is a part of me that I try and keep in the closet, this part of me cannot fathom that anyone would be anywhere that doesn't involve me. You can understand why I try and keep this in the closet - how obnoxious. After I raced in I found them in the couchy area

She was sitting with Elizabeth and Erin who had recently gotten this done. She had brought a ball of Noro in to the tattoo artist to use as an example. She is a rocker.

So we run in and lo and behold a camera crew is there getting footage of knitting and martinis. My kind of crowd. By the time the last of the knitters arrived we had a nice crowd of between 10 and 15 snazzed up women. It was so luxurious.

The entire night centered around cheese, wine, cosmos, poutine (that's right - they have POUTINE AT THE ROSEWATER SUPPER CLUB), and knitting projects that we could stitch while blind.

I clearly forgot this and spent my first two martinis ripping back the damned scarf that had reversible cables seen here from another time with Jill's Jaywalker Sock and Kelly's sock. I'm not sure what I was thinking bringing a reversible cable scarf that involved ribbing to an event INVOLVING VODKA AND CHEESE. Me thinks I overestimated myself.

The definitive moment of the night was when the maitre d', who had been interested in us all night, finally asked Elizabeth if he could knit a row or two. Oh Julius you delighful wine fascist and romantic - thank you for the wine for Elizabeth (because she's so incredibly charming) and the scotch for me (because I'm a sucker for pimping out my friends).

I'm sorry that I got my left and right sides mixed up when you asked for the girl's name on the RIGHT side of me. But you should understand my mind was still whirling from the divinity that is Rosewater Poutine.

Isn't he a cutie? The following are some moments that were captured in between me sipping vodka and me ripping back more of my scarf. You'll see the two Elizabeths in this picture one in the back and one sipping the wine. Elizabeth in the back was found close to coma 5 minutes prior and was revived STAT with some cheese - I would post the picture but I fear she would hunt me down.

Now in this giggling picture you'll see what seems to be almost an ENTIRE MITTEN that was knit at this event. My friend Amy (I may add also the genius that brought the Rosewater Poutine to our table) casted on and almost finished her mitten. I've tried to show what she accomplished in the 4 hours we spent here.

By the end of the night we had almost closed the bar (satisfying) and I was still ready for some more fun so I headed home to my Man Boy and enjoyed a sip of one of these before falling asleep. This is what I woke up to. Oh the judgment! But aren't we glad that he thought to SAVE THE BEER WITH A WINE BOTTLE STOPPER.


Now a favour to all knitters from this event who may read this post. We were picking out the different quotes from the night that I would use in mysensitivegirlhole. Does anyone remember them? I look at you Elizabeth K....what was that line? It's driving me crazy

Friday, November 25, 2005

Friday Random Ten

The Freedom 35, Dare to Dream Edition

1. Fiery Furnaces: Though Let's Be Fair
2. No Doubt: You Can Do It
3. Alanis Morissette: Right Through You
4. Spacehog: Almond Kisses
5. Stars: What I'm Trying To Say
6. Missy Elliott: Slap! Slap! Slap!
7. Johnny Cash: Folsom Prison Blues
8. Bruce Springsteen: Across the Border
9. Great Lake Swimmers: I Saw You In The Wild
10. Emmylou Harris: Every Grain Of Sand

The picture is to document what happens when you drink too many $15.00 martini's at the Hyatt Regency Rooftop Lounge with your boss and executive members of the office. Let the dooceing begin.

Yarn Fetishists UNITE!!!

I am a chronically busy person. It's a neurotic genetic flaw found somewhere deep in my ancestry that I feel like I must be busy and productive for as much of the time that I'm awake as possible. That way if I get hit by a bus I won't leave my earthly body thinking "DANG! I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED HOW TO KNIT" or something along those lines

This means that I'm part of charity boards, I knit (TTC productivity has skyrocketed since I learned how to knit socks), I do comedy (am on hiatus right now) and I volunteer. It has taken my PIC almost the entirety of our relationship to adjust to it.

He often will look at me in a quiet moment with awe in his voice will say "Wow, it's really busy in your head isn't it." To which I reply "You have *no* idea."

The problem with this...um, tick is that every once in awhile an event comes through the pipes that I would kill to take part in but I just can't seem to get there because I schedule weekly engagements.

Wednesday night Stitch 'n Bitching at Lettuce Knit was once this impossible for me to get to. I say once because I went after my standing date at Weight Watchers for the first time this week and I will continue to do this as often as possible. The knitters witnessed here are all so talented it makes the gerbil running in my brain take pause and enjoy the moment. Yes, it was that good.

I met the Yarn Harlot, Juno, Fey, Lady Marmalade and saw knitters from the TTC Knit event and met new knitters. Oh dear the laughing and the rude rude subjects of conversation.

It came out that my doctor prescribed Ativan to me for smoking withdrawal symptoms. There is no season like Christmas to make knitters really interested in the possibility of tranquilizers. Don't believe me? Call this number 1-877-SOS-KNIT.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving Neighbors to the South!

To celebrate: Haikus!!
(found via the The Other Dark Meat)
White man invades us,
Steals our land and livelihood!
Enjoy pie, asswipes.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Rodent evolution

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-Lily Tomlin

With this in mind I will leave the office before 9:00 pm and I will go knitting at Lettuce Knit. I have brought both the digital camera AND the memory card so I WILL be posting pictures on my girl hole.

I am a rat no more freedom calls.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

My kidneys need a hug

I've missed a project deadline by 2 days, spent 14 hours here yesterday and worked from home most of the weekend.

My pee smells like coffee.

Beyond work I've been knitting secret knitting will post pictures tonight because as god (lowercase g) as my witness I WILL NOT BE GETTING FISTED BY MY JOB TONIGHT.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Conversation topics recently covered while knitting with and without alcohol

Warning: The following subjects weren't *always* introduced by myself and are almost entirely sex related. They were all discussed in the past 24 hours while knitting in various locations.

1. The feasibility of open relationships and the statistical likelihood of good emotionally unattached sex.

2. Porking in the shower with broken foot: challenging AND satisfying - leading to the image of having one's broken foot hoisted above one's head for enjoyment.

3. Top vs. Bottom - with demonstrations of favorite maneuvers. Leading to a detailed discussion of:

4. The benefits of sleeping with tall men: fortitude, durability, monkey bar similarity

5. The recommendation of smoking marijuana in order to quell elevator phobia thus making the office Christmas party that much less painful - in a number of ways.

6. The necessity of a good sturdy bra for marathon dancing binges.

The face of knitting has changed forever.

Friday Random Ten

In honour of taking it up the rump at work I present you: The Getting the Fuck out of Dodge Edition

1. The Arcade Fire: Rebellion (Lies)
2. Me'Shell Ndegeocello: I'm diggin' You (Like An Old Soul Record)
3. Bruce Springsteen: Youngstown
4. Bruce Springsteen: Highway 29
5. Taj Mahal: Freight Train
6. Pixies: Vamos
7. Coldplay: Don't Panic
8. Massive Attack: Five Man Army
9. Kathleen Edwards: Pink Emerson Radio
10. Colin Hay: I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

I prefer geek lemming thank you..

Because sheep are f'ing cute. Shocking to those who *still* don't know what I get paid to do.





Which flock do you follow?

this quiz was made by alanna

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Bringing peace to the weary

This week has sucked my big white honky ass (sorry dad). Work has been gruelling and all consuming. When I haven't been at work I've been trying to maintain a semblance of balance by doing yoga (poorly I might add) and knitting. I've been out of sorts and even more worrisome I've been out of humour all week.

The only event this week that I refused to let work impact was the Downtown Knit Collective meeting last night where Sally Melville was doing a lecture on creativity and where ideas come from to promote her new book. Besides the fact that she is an unbelievable artist, a lot of her subject matter referenced the creative and the evolution of design from concept to finished product. Specifically the relationship of the right brain (artsy fartsy) to the left brain (judgy mathy). This process applies to writing comedy as much as to design.

I walked into the room 5 minutes late to 350 people sitting in a lecture hall knitting - I found my colleague, the Knitting Accountant, with a seat saved for me. She was sitting behind Joyce (my titknitting friend who KIPs), the formidable Amy Singer and Emma. A wave of relief washed over me as I took a seat and pulled out my knitting. My throat loosened and my neck stopped hurting.

As Sally went on she talked about how left brainers and right brainers react to their worlds I started to realize that one of the reasons I've been so uncomfortable, dissatisfied, antsy and irritated this week is that my whole day is consumed with doing the code and programming for our annual membership billing.

I HATE MATH AND I HATE WRITING IN LOGIC never mind doing it on a tighter and tighter deadline. It actually hurts my forehead, makes my skin itch and my throat tight. Dear god I can't wait until Saturday morning.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I love technology

How fun is this! I'd love to know where all y'all is at.

Drop me a wave and say hi!

Check out our Frappr!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Living the Toronto Dream

What a crazy busy fun weekend. Crazy.

It started with going to see the Wet Spots on Friday night at the Gladstone Hotel with PIC and a couple of friends. God, that place is putting the ass right back in class last time I got slammed there people were butting out their cigarettes on the pool table.

Speaking of ass, it delights me to no end to be writing about "Wet Spots" on My Sensitive Girl Hole for the first time this year. If you ever get a chance to check them out do it. They've got great songs all about asses.

Saturday morning we woke up late and hungover and went to see Jane Eyre as put on by my cousin's George Brown Theatre class - cool theatre, long play in a hot space. All in all a talented group of folk. My parents came over for delicious Thai and then my sister and I headed over to the Bad Dog Theatre to see a Twisted Christmas Carol.

Seriously kids, for $12.00 you get to see some of the TDot's best comedians spin comedy gold for you...it's good clean family fun that you can follow up with some delicious Guiness at the Dora Keogh. You can't afford NOT to see it this season.

Sunday I enjoyed Dim Sum at the Dragon city restaurant at Spadina and Dundas with my posse Aviva, Nelson and Charlotte. We got some home roasted coffee in Kensington coincidentally right beside Lettuce Knit where some Lorna's Lace slipped into my bag. WTF?! How did THAT get in there.

The capper was 4 hours spent playing in a poker tournament. didn't think I would make it that long what with my complete inability to keep good news to myself (see Pocket Rockets) It was good times that raised a grand for my theatre of choice.

Sunday night was spent watching the Penn and Teller special with my PIC and chilling out. This week is going to kick my ass at the Veal Processing Plant (aka my office) so I needed to prepare with some down time.

Friday, November 11, 2005

More sticky web fun!

Get your tshirt now at:



Thanks Amy for the heads up on everything I've missed out since I got deflowered gently, in a canoe, from behind....6 times...under the full muskoka moon. If only I was a virgin when I met my PIC he wouldn't be in fake love with me - it would be "real"


The Iron Hymen is parodying this spectacular movement originating in the States Silver Ring Thing recently it lost it's federal funding.

Word on the street is that if you're a christian american girl practising "abstinence" in the America you're more likely to practise anal sex(not 'real' sex) and oral sex as well which I'm all for but DO IT WITH A CONDOM.

Your future husband will appreciate a Chlapless fiance more than a virginal one...

Friday Random Ten

The Gemini Edition

1. Stars: Celebration Guns
2. Propellerheads: You Want It Back
3. Massive Attack: Be Thankful for What You Got
4. Morcheeba: Love Is Rare
5. Chris Thomas King: Hard Time Killing Floor Blues
6. Morcheeba: In The Hands of The Gods
7. Stars: Your Ex Lover Is Dead
8. Tracy Bonham: All Thumbs
9. Lauryn Hill: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
10. The Fiery Furnaces: A Candymaker's Knife In My Handbag

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I will say this

This past week has been a dry hump of writing material about myself the week has just been flying by and I feel very disconnected from all of it - bored if you will. So instead I shall pontificate upon the lives of others!

- I made tzatziki with So Good Soy Yogurt and it tastes exactly like the yogurt would with all the garlic I put in it. Jesus it's going to stick for days - the PIC is feeling safe from vampyres.

- A close close friend of mine (you know who you are) hung out with someone that has transformed her outlook. I don't care if it's romantic, friendship, a nemesis or a passerby that does this to someone - we all need our outlook tweaked every couple years. I love that she's not scared shitless by this event. Having said that - these moments scare the pants off of me.

- I've seen a link to this blog all over the place but I actually read through it today and am now addicted. There are pictures of her recent cancer treatments (warning: explicit pictures) makes my knuckles hurt and my heart ache. My inner ignoramus prefers the breast exam pictures but it made me do a *great* self exam this month. Holy fuck - that is educmacation. The fact that she is posting fucking good shit about the patriarchy while fighting it knocks my panties off.

- And because winter, she comes slowly here in Toronto, a picture from my wasted youth in a place that had 4 feet of the white stuff by Halloween. I kind of miss it. Man that sun glare of the snow could blind you for the season.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

October Knittage

My favourite October knit is this messenger bag from Knitty for my ecofriendly sister. It's made out of 100% recycled Silk Sari material. The colours are spectacular.


The yarn itself wasn't super fun to knit with as it was spun with hay so it's quite rough on the hands but beautiful


I also finished a tank top sweater from Rowan. Meh it's alright - warm and cuddly for sure but I'm not super happy with the give of the yarn...smaller needles perhaps.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Ring Two or Natural Born Loser

I lose stuff. If it can come off of my body, chances are I will lose it before it wears out or I outgrow it. To give you a good idea of how much of a loser I am - I've lost countless pairs of glasses in the lake at our cottage simply because when I'm excited about swimming I forget I'm wearing them and take wild flying leaps into the cool cool water - no pair of glasses could be secured to my face enough to withstand the force of my enthusiasm.

To thine self be true so when I got engaged the only way for the PIC to get me to accept a ring was to have it insured prior to me wearing it for any length of time.

4 days after I got married my ring fell victim to McKaskill Lake in Algonquin Park right here:


I will say this: nothing ruins a honeymoon toke like losing the symbol of eternal love and faithfulness in 15 feet of cold Northern Ontario water at sunset.

What a bummer - but as previously indicated, I am a loser so I develop an understanding with my belongings (particularly jewelery) I try not to get too attached. History has shown that our relationship (mine and jewelery) is but fleeting.

Anyway, when we got back to the city we called our insurance agent who proceeded to tell us that the ring was worth less than half what we paid for it originally and our jeweller had marked it up because her store was in Yorkville. THEN WHY WERE WE PAYING PREMIUMS ON THE ORIGINAL VALUE. I told her that it wasn't marked up - we designed it and it's made with Canadian material which is more expensive (but there is way less blood on our hands)

4 months later I finally got a third party quote from Birk's who valued the ring at $200 MORE than what we paid. I emailed the quote to the adjuster and I kid you not - within 48hrs we had a check. I'm wearing the ring right now and I still love it but the whole experience has left me with a crappy taste in my mouth.

What the fuck do these people get paid to do?!?! It irks me to think that we could have been ripped off over $1000.00 if we hadn't fought back AND WE PAY THEM MONTHLY FOR THE PRIVILEGE.

Anyone have recommendations on a good insurer because we're switching before I lose this bad boy again...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

TTC Knit A Long - The Remix

I think some folks are linking to mysensitivegirlhole from the ttc knit a long blog so I wanted to make sure folks could see some of the pics from the last knit a long - You guys would be fools to miss the Stitch in the City knit a long at the Rosewater!

Here's the last yarn fest

Friday, November 04, 2005

Martinis and Scotch and Burgers Oh My!!!

So last night I met up with the Urban Sherpa to scout out locations for the next KIP event - I can't give you too many details but I can tell you that the "girls" are coming out, "martini's" will be drunk and Single Malt 18 yr old scotch "is" available. (No jail bait scotch allowed).

It would seem that I wasn't the only one imbibing too much high end deliciousness last night - Ashlee Simpson that lyp sinching hack got all hammered up and went looking for a filet o' fish.

What makes me pretty happy about this, primarily because I'm music snob, is that a bunch of Ryerson students put together a whole campaign to welcome The Simp to our fair city (via Torontoist) and apparently her surliness was due to her feelings being hurt earlier that day.

I can't wait until she gets pregnant a la Britney - just to give us a deserved time out.

Friday...new ways to avoid the work

It's a new feature: The Friday Random Ten

This is the Hunt for Mediocrity edition
  1. The Arcade Fire: Haiti
  2. Death Cab for Cutie: I Will Follow You Into the Dark
  3. The Strokes: Take It or Leave It
  4. Morcheeba: Be Yourself
  5. Zero 7: In The Waiting Line
  6. Great Lake Swimmers: Song for The Angels
  7. Death Cab for Cutie: What Sarah Said
  8. Tracy Bonham: All Thumbs
  9. Johnny Cash: Dirty Old Egg Suckin' Dog
  10. Cary Brothers: Blue Eyes

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Psychological thriller in the office..

I just got this email from my HR Director to the entire office. I love this woman she is a power house but clearly someone has found her flaw:

Would whoever continues to tilt the pictures in the
boardroom please refrain from doing so. Thanks

Human Resources


I can just see someone in the office so filled with inane rage that this is their outlet. Or they're trying to drive the HR Director insane. Either way, I giggle.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween, oh how I judge thee.

There is confusion somewhere about Halloween rules:

1. Hey lady: when you look like you could be lactating as you say trick or treat...you are too old to be saying it.

2. Hey Mom Lady: Your job is to take your two adorable toddlers trick or treating. When you popped them out you lost the right to carry your own treat bag

3. Hey Kid: When you talk about how fast your five o'clock shadow grows and where to buy good dope on my street, you're too old AND YOU SHOULD BE SHARING.

On the up note: My day was going great when I found out that the Colbert Report was coming to Canada but when I saw what was in the mail it just got better! I gots me a fussy shirt!! I love my treble chin in this picture.


It's like Channukah and Christmas all at once!!

Oh happy happy day! Want to know why? click the hot hot brain below


Sunday, October 30, 2005

I promise I'll bring the book back.

There is something inherently comforting to know that the public library system can still exist. With all the news of lying presidents, looting citizenry and general gun violence in the TDot - the fact that someone will let me (one of the least reliable and most disorganized people I know) take a book, dvd or cd for free for a week on the understanding that I will eventually return it.

Well it gives me hope. As long as we as a society have this understanding...it means that the majority of us are still morally and karmically...holding on.

I joined the Secret Pal movement on it's SIXTH round...just because the whole idea of some stranger out there in the world sending me something specific to my hobby just because they said that they would...is really cool. The notion that the only connection that this person has to me is through this blog is even neater - a modernized take on pen pals.

Last week through the haze of project deadlines, self judgement and a severe chest infection I got this in the mail:


1. SOCK YARN! I don't know how she/he knew but I was down to my last two balls of it.

2. A beeyoutiful jewelry case that my new wedding ring will be safely ensconced in (more on that when I can talk about the insurance company without going rabid)

3. Jeweled stitchmarkers for which I have been lusting after for months...ooooo am so spoiled

4. Extremely cool cards with knit related pictures on the front of them.

THANK YOU STRANGER FROM THE HOT LAND!!



Saturday, October 29, 2005

Jumping the shark in the blog world

Click the picture of my cat to read the article. In my defense this is actually photographic evidence that the laws of gravity do not apply to my cat. Pics are thanks to the Magnificent P.I.C.


Seriously - did he climb up the PIC's clothes to get up there?? It's at least 4 feet above my head!